This American Life Needs Us!!

Okay, I love This American Life, the most unique and wonderful radio program that ever graced these ears. If you listen to the show, great! I feel like we can connect. If you haven't heard of it, that's fine... just make sure you give it a listen PRONTO. If you have heard of it but haven't listened to it yet, see previous statement. If you don't like the show, then I have no time for you seeing as you can't even exist anyway cuz NO ONE doesn't like This American Life!

That said, they are feeling the economic crunch. WBEZ in Chacago, where TAL calls home, has already had to lay off a dozen or so people and may ahve to do more trimming in the budget. So here is the deal. Most poeple that listen to the show do so by downloading the free FREE! podcast each monday of the episode that aired brand spanking new on friday. This costs WBEZ 150,000 dollars a year for bandwitdth alone! All so we can listen for free.

SO.... Ira Glass is calling on you. And me. I already donated today and want to give you the same oppurtunity. Click the following to do so:

DONATE DONATE DONATE!!!

Oh, and if you are so inclined, it's tax-deductible. I have never asked for money on here*, but I really love the show and you more people need to hear it. Thanks for reading my begging/diatribe.









*If you want to give me money for the site though, you should.

Christmas Is Over.

If I had a Time Machine.... XMas Style

Why can't the War on Christmas learn a little something from... well... 1984. Not the Orwell masterpiece, no. The year (and some would say Era) of 1984. That's right. Take a look at this video and tell me it doesn't warm your heart to see all these people all adorably "cool" in rediculous clothes and hairstyles. That's what we'll look like to the youth of tomorrow. Enjoy!

So come on Bill-o and we Atheists, let's be a little more like this video. Do you think Sting and Bono REALLY got along? No. Too much ego for two people to co-exist. But they joined forces however briefly for the good of... the world. Oh, and Wham! and Boy George, etc.

"Give Me A FUCKIN' Break Michael"

I swear she seems like a character Amy Sedaris would do. Happy Winter Solstice.

The War On Christmas

Bill Bill Bill, when you talk, is it just to hear your own voice? Or is it to drown out the rest of the people around you telling you you're WRONG? By know I'm sure you've heard about the FFRF plaque in Olympia, Washington. I like it, I just wish the wording had been slightly more passive at the end, just so there could be less ammunition for the conservative blowhards up in arms about it.

The fact remains that, in any given public area that has been cleared for displays, Atheist displays are just as viable and protected as any Nativity Scene or any religious display. I mean, I think if I was a believer, a hollow, plastic, glowing, plugged in Jesus would be more offensive than someone else's beliefs. But it's Bill's thick wall of ignorance that is the problem. The self proclaimed "War on Christmas" that he and his ilk have claimed to be happening.... is that even remotely realistic?

The war on Christmas is over. Christmas lost. And it won. Because it wasn't fought in the streets or in the courts or even in the schools. It was fought at Walmart and Best Buy. It was fought by Santa and Jesus and Santa won with a surprise right-cross with a Visa Debit Card in his hand. Every Christmas Tree faced off against all the Crucifix' and, some say because of the hight advantage and Jesus' off balance pose, the Tree's had them beat in no time. The presents won in a landslide victory against communion. The Grinch and Charlie Brown and Home Alone became the new Trinity and all was good.

The war on Christmas. Never happened. Christmas is as much about Jesus as St. Patrick's Day. I'm an Atheist and I love Christmas, not because of any religious references or traditions (they've all but dissapeared) but for what Christmas is really about; Family and Friends... and buy a shit load of stuff and propping up a portion of the economy one wish-list at a time. No one thinks fondly of their Christmas' past and see's religion, they see dinner with the family, presents under the tree, Lego's and Barbie.

So Christmas is what it is, the middle of winter, the time of the solstice, and a chance to get together with family and take some time off work. You want a real Bad Guy for crimes against Christmas? Talk to Jim Carry about remaking a live action Grinch. There's your culprit. Go get him, Bill.

Ho Ho Ho.

A Great Video

Here's a fun video I came across thanks to my friend Colby. I know he doesn't see eye to eye with me on religious matters, but it's nice we can both enjoy this.

Notice such a nice gesture can be made with out the mention of God? I'm not making this an atheist video, I'm just saying it's cool.



It's also cool to see New Orleans and spot places we've been, I.E. the Disney World looking church in the background.... is that a religious tone? Crap.

I Love This Video... All It Needs Is Kieth Olbermann.... And A Time Machine.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

There are about a dozen people that I really enjoy in this musical, among the most noteworthy John C. Reilly, Neil Patrick Harris and Jack Black. The fact that this is funny, chock full of celebs and a great message makes me wonder just one thing:

WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS A MONTH AGO???

Don't get me wrong, I love the clip and the fact that they did it makes me smile and, admittedly, I will enjoy their work even more now that a part of me can recognize that they all have a sense of Liberty for the people. But I have to wonder why it took so long? No matter, I can't fault them for a wonderful performance.

Perhaps Proposition 8 being voted in was actually the best thing to happen to the movement? Perhaps now, decent people will stand up for what they believe in and won't let the ignorant choose their freedoms. Perhaps this will be seen in the future as the catalyst for change. We can only hope.

Until that day and even more upon it, I'll keep laughing with the smarter crowd.

Just When I Start To Get My Head Around People Believing Rediculous Things...

Hmmmm, Jesus just seems so.... normal now.

Great, now I'm starting to side with the Christians? At least there preposterous myth has SOME semblance of history I.E. it's been passed down over the years through families. Still not a reason to believe in it, but an understandable way in which people fall into it.

But with this, you have to start with it brand new and that's rediculous. I mean, how the hell does something like religion just "start up"?? It's the alleged "beginning" and, if it were true, the absolute most important thing in the world... ever! That shit doesn't just get "realized" by some 40 year old, new age, dreamcatcher selling, hypocrite in Nevada.

Show This To Anyone Telling You Gay Marriage Isn't OK

Today

Today I became a little more Proud to be American.

Remember To Vote This Election...

This is via Travesty In Training, my acoustic comedy duo. For more information, check the link to the right:

Wanna Puke? Or Maybe Load A Gun?

Which One Is Scariest?

In honor of the most godless of holidays... at least to the severely religious... Halloween, take a look at the following videos and tell me which one terrifies you the most... For me it's a tie between #1 and #3... mainly 3, but seriously, cupcakes?:

Awesome/Terrifying Website

GO HERE!

Baptism: Why? or Why Not?

My fiance' and I have been talking lately about the future (as soon-to-be-married people are oft to do), but we've had trouble coming to a "win-win" solution. Here's the question:

To Bapt or not to Bapt?

Now, obviously neither of us want to have a baptism for our children, but we both recognize that our families might feel different. My mother, I'm sure would probably want it and my fiance' seems to think her mother might as well.

While we're both in agreement that it's not something we want to do, we've split in one aspect of the discussion; Can't we just let our parents do it if they want it?

My feeling is that, because the ceremony has no meaning to anyone outside of that faith and the child certainly doesn't know what's going on, then what's the harm of letting our parents, the baby's grandparents, have their baptism? It doesn't change the baby and it certainly doesn't affect or hurt anyone in the least bit. The child grows up not even remembering the day, and the people we care about that feel it is a necessary ceremony will have their rest-easy feeling. My fiance' and I just won't be a part of that day. Our parents, if they want to have a baptism, can plan it and arrange it and take the baby to church and get them dipped. We won't be a part of it, but no harm in letting them do it, and why create an unnecessary fight or make any one upset over a sink of water?

But my fiance' thinks otherwise. If we don't want it, then we shouldn't allow it to happen in any situation... or should we? We're both unsure as to what to do. Both points valid and, I'm sure, arguable by anyone. Her main point being that, we're The Parents and we should raise our children the way we want to. I can completely see the point and we just don't know what to do when that time comes.

It's interesting to think that we both have the same reason for either not wanting it or not minding it. But here's the difference in opinion: Hers being that, because we don't believe in the ceremony, we shouldn't allow it to happen to our children. My opinion being that, because we don't believe in the ceremony, who gives a shit if they do it and it makes our parents happy.

So what to do?

Dip, no dip?

Let me know! Oh, and by the way, we are not I repeat NOT having children anytime soon. We were simply discussing it last night for when we do have children. Just wanted to make a disclaimer!

What The No-Hell Is Sarah Palin Trying To Say Here?

This quick clip boggles my mind. Palin (who can kill a 600 pound black bear simply by throwing a bullet) tries to make a joke... about Biden being old.... being old....OLD. When you have a running mate that has daily meetings with the Angel of Death, I don't think an "old man" joke works. When she tries to explain WHY the joke is at all a... joke... she really only manages to say she's a terrible candidate. Congratulations Sarah; I have an I.Q. of 142 and you have managed to use your fucking "folksy hockey-mom sensibilities" and make me drool from confusion.

I know I'm at risk of sounding like the meanest person on the webbynets, but fuck it: Now I know where Trig got his smarts.

Oh, Bill... It's Just Like You!!

I loved the Lil' Gordon Ramsey, but I think this MAY top it. I'm not sure, the Gordon was such a smooth production. Oh well, you decide:

Little Bill O'Reilly.

Ladies And Gentlemen; "McSame's Strongest Supporter"

If this doesn't make you sad to be American, I don't know what will:

SNL: Stop Not (making me) Laugh

Remember when SNL was funny? Remember when it was a great platform for a comedic generation? Phil Hartman, Chris Farley, Mike Meyers, Adam Sandler, etc. All on the show at the SAME TIME. Now look. We have... the guy that does this tame character over and over... that girl who does that character every week... that other guy who is in every sketch... that girl who everyone says is funny but I haven't seen it yet. (Kristin 'nintendo' Wiig)

The problem? The current cast has become so determined to create recurring characters that they have forgotten the main point of the show; Sketch Comedy. Not, "Isn't this chracter funny? I talk so funny! I look hilarious!" That's one step up from improv comedy and we know how 'funny' that is.

Are there any REAL shining cast members? I know, I know, Wiig is hilarious. I would say she's more just funny sometimes and when you compare that with the basically wall-paper level comedy in the rest, it stands out.

So why are they so focused on characters? I think it starts with the career take-offs that came with the mid 90's cast. The rocketing success of the likes of Mike Meyers and Adam Sandler showed that characters stick in the mind of the viewer and really CAN help a career. BUT... only if the characters are really creative and, more importantly, the characters DON'T BECOME A MOVIE!! That's death. Career and comedy death. No, using SNL as a springboard is fine, but you have to develope, move on, and create anew. Perfect examples being Sandler, who went on to develope a rather succesful career and basically being fun. He was able to take the character style that comes with SNL and expand that to a workable career. Mike Meyers did this as well, though more so because he was the only cast member to carry an SNL character over to film succesfully. (A minor example is Will Ferrel, but he's really just bringing more SNL characters to the big screen and with diminishing success. Try more Stranger Than Fiction, Will!)

The damage of this previous success is seen in the work of the current cast. They're more focused on the success to come and not SNL. You can see this in the amount of outside work that the cast is doing. Everyone seems anxious to become the next SNL cast member to 'break out' that they aren't being cohesive. The simplest reason that the mid-90's cast worked so well is that they were working TOGETHER. They had fun and you could tell when the cameras rolled. Even when the 'Gap Girls' couldn't manage their lines without cracking up, the sketch worked because we were able to laugh with them. Everyone worked the sketch for the sake of the sketch, not so one cast member could showcase a new 'hilarious' character.

Wigs and make-up and a funny accent don't create comedy, it's the originality and spark in the work. When you focus on the spotlight, you can't create that. Are all the sketches horrible? No. I still enjoy a sketch here or there. (As much as I don't want to admit it, Andy Sambergs Digital Shorts and SOMETIMES be entertaining and some of the cast manage to do a pretty good job fairly regularly. Mainly, I miss Tina Fey.) But the consistant question I ask my self every week I manage to catch the show is, "Why did that sketch make it on the show?".

So... SNL, I know the cast can be funny. You've proven it in rare moments. All of the cast is talented and I'm not arguing that at all. You ARE funny. Just focus on SNL, not what you're going to get from it. You have to be great before you can expect the label.

Obama The AntiCrhist?

This guy is Jim Bramlett. He's a former employee of CBN and Campus Crusade For Christ, you know, the college level nazi recruitment group? ANYWAY, Jim seems to have a theory about Barack Obama. Let's read shall we?:

Dear friends:

Barack Hussein Obama has taken the nation by storm. From obscurity, with zero executive experience, or much of any kind, he has vaulted into the position of Presidential frontrunner. It is stunning. On the surface, it appears attributable only to his eloquent oratory and his race. But an invisible factor may be a strong spiritual force behind him, causing some people to actually swoon in his presence.

I have been very concerned that he has publicly said that he does not believe Jesus is the only way to heaven. This makes both the Bible and Jesus a liar, and it means that Christ has died in vain. A person cannot be a true Christian who believes that there are other ways of forgiveness, salvation, and eternal life with God. Only Jesus has paid the price for that.

Therefore, there is, indeed, another spirit involved. And this spirit has come into our national life like a flood. Last week at Obama's acceptance speech, that spirit exalted itself in front of a Greek temple-like stage, and to a huge audience like in a Roman arena. Omama was portrayed as god-like. His voice thundered as a god's voice.

At the end, Democratic sympathizer Pastor Joel Hunter gave the benediction and shockingly invited everyone to close the prayer to their own (false) gods. This was surely an abomination, but it was compatible with Obama's expressed theology, and Hunter's leftist leanings.

God was not pleased.

Well, he's definitely not happy. But what could save us from this heathen? I mean, surely this is a force to be reckoned with. We need SOMEONE!!

Enter Governor Sarah Palin. With incredible timing, the very next day, Sarah Palin also appeared out of nowhere. Her shocking selection as John McCain's running mate stunned the world and suddenly took all the wind out of Obama's sails.

We quickly learned that Sarah is a born-again, Spirit-filled Christian, attends church, and has been a ministry worker.

Sarah is that standard God has raised up to stop the flood. She has the anointing. You can tell by how the dogs are already viciously attacking her. But they will not be successful. She knows the One she serves and will not be intimidated.

Back in the 1980s, I sensed that Israel's little-known Benjamin Netanyahu was chosen by God for an important end-time role. I still believe that. I now have that same sense about Sarah Palin.

Today I did some checking and discovered that both her first and last names are biblical words, one in Hebrew the other in Greek:

Sarah. Wife of Abraham and mother of Isaac. In Hebrew, Sarah means "noble woman" (Strong's 8283).

Palin. In Greek, the word means "renewal." (Strong's 3825).

A friend said he believes that Sarah Palin is a Deborah. Of Deborah, Smith's Bible Dictionary says, "A prophetess who judged Israel…. She was not so much a judge as one gifted with prophetic command…. and by virtue of her inspiration 'a mother in Israel.'"

Only God knows the future and how she may be used by Him, but may this noble woman serve to bring renewal in the land, and inspiration.

Jim

(His emphasis, not mine)

So what do we learn from this? That there are some amazingly stupid people out there. "Look! That person fits our narrow, ignorant lifestyle!" "She's from GOD!!!!". Maybe God shouldn't send someone who's down with killing animals from planes. Or maybe someone who blindly supports a pipeline regardless of the impact on Alaskan wildlife. Somehow, that doesn't seem Christ-like, does it? Would Jesus come down from heaven and tell Rape victims to cough up cash? Maybe.

Here's my letter:

Dear Jim,

You're a dumb, mildly racist fucking asshole.

Love,

Ray

Art Is Serious

Here's a new video I made!

PART 1




PART 2

I'm Sick Of "Pride" In Ignorance

I can't stand it when some prideful Christian proudly proclaims, "Only book I read's the Bible!". As if that is something to be proud of. If you read the Bible, great. I've read it three times and each time it was more and more obvious what I was reading. Not to mention, as far as literature, it's not the best read out there. Shit, Dan Brown can out write some of the writers involved in the Bible. (Seriously, Dan Brown is quite possibly the worst writer alive and exists solely to write books that people who don't regularly read will buy.)

ANYWAY, it looks like Mariah Carey has joined the ranks of the ignorant proclaimers, are you surprised?

Seems so Christian, right?

It looks like, in an interview for Now Magazine, she stated, "The only book I make time to read is the Bible."

Okay, let's get one thing straight here; The Bible is NOT a "book". Yes, it is a book in the sense that it is pages bound in a collection, but it is not a book in the sense of "what have you read lately?"

I would argue that regular readers of the Bible aren't actually "reading". When you read a book, or article or asshole's opinions on a rarely-visited, selfish blog... reading involves a process of critical thinking. This critical thinking, by definition of being a believer, is absent from a regular reader of the bible. Your not "reading a book", your towing the party line, sorry... being "spiritual".

So when someone says the only book they read is the Bible, go ahead and translate that to, "I don't read and I reject the idea of new thoughts that aren't previously formed and approved by others. I'm ignorant."

Selling Some Art (a.k.a. shameless pandering)

I've recently sold some artwork at a local cafe' and it has made me realize that A) Strangers DO like it and B) I don't feel as horrible as I thought I would losing my paintings, I actually like the idea of it being on someone else's wall.

SO.... Here's some of what I'm selling, if you are in the least bit interested, let me know! And if you like it/hate it, let me know, too. I have a general idea of what I would like to charge, but would rather work that out with people so just throw out a price. I only ask that shipping be paid separately as it does cost money that I don't really have. Now I feel greedy and selfish... it'll wear off.

All my stuff is SprayPaint ONLY! I only work in spraypaint and stencils. Everything you see here, other than the guitar, are all Spray Paint on Canvas. Mainly Rusto... a little Krylon.


Spray2 - It's a rather small 5X7, but it's one of my favorites. This is the original and is not for sale, however I do have an identical one that I am selling.


Balloon Girl (Banksy Rip) - This is two 11X14 (I think) canvases. Originally a Banksy stencil, but I liked the idea of using two canvases.

Moral Majority - This is another 11X14 canvas that fits more with the blog than anything else.


October - Two 11X14's again. This stencil was SOOOO time consuming. This one might be sold already, but let me know if you're interested.


WTC1 - This is the second 9/11 based painting I did. (The other one just sold at the cafe') This is a bigger canvas, roughly 30" across.


City Boy - My favorite of the bunch! A nice sized canvas, around 24" in height. You can't really see the reflectiveness of the Gold in this, it's not really shiny, but it's nice.


Faucet - A nice 3 layer stencil. 11X14.



Experiment In Technique #1 - 11X14. This was a fun night of working on my splatter control.


Cog - 11X14. Great color contrast in person.


Pill Bomb - A 3 Layer stencil. Another 24" canvas. I was obsessed with getting a pill to look like a bomb for weeks with this.


Mic2 - I made one of these for a friend and then I made another for me... now I'm selling it. 11X14.


After The War (Banksy Rip) - 11X14. I love Banksy and wanted to do my own take on his work.


Jesus Shaves - My first stencil! A pretty fitting one for the blog, too. About 24" in height.


Balloon Girl on Guitar - This is an old classic string guitar that a friend gave me. I wanted to Art the shit out of it and I think it came out nicely. I didn't re-string it but it can be and played.


Brown Mouse V. Grey Mouse - Two 11X14 canvases. I really enjoy working with this stencil and have used it on a lot of pieces.

Palin - "Rape = Cash"

I'm sure you've already heard about the latest Sarah Palin bullshit, but if you haven't... here it is:

Apparently while Palin was Mayor of WaMetha, she supported the charging of Rape Kits to victims. That's right, a rape victim would be charged the $500 to $1200 for the... privilege?... of getting the exam. Palin's crew has already denied her knowing about it, but as the HuffingtonPost has said -

Under Sarah Palin's administration, Wasilla cut funds that had previously paid for the medical exams and began charging victims or their health insurers the $500 to $1200 fees. Although Palin spokeswoman Maria Comella wrote USA Today earlier this week that the GOP vice presidential nominee "does not believe, nor has she ever believed, that rape victims should have to pay for an evidence-gathering test...To suggest otherwise is a deliberate misrepresentation of her commitment to supporting victims and bringing violent criminals to justice," Palin, as mayor, fired police chief Irl Stambaugh and replaced him with Charlie Fannon, who with Palin's knowledge, slashed the budget for the exams and began charging the city's victims of sexual assault. The city budget documents demonstrate Palin read and signed off on the new budget. A year later, alarmed Alaska lawmakers passed legislation outlawing the practice.

Doug Stanhope Wants To Save Bristol Palin

Thanks to Mike for sending me this link. Doug Stanhope (a great comedian) has always been great!

Never in history has a woman been under more pressure to keep an unwanted pregnancy than Bristol Palin. She is the teenage daughter of Alaska Governor & Vice-Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin - a conservative, Creationist Christian power-vampire and pro-life huckster who has put Bristol and her un-welcomed fetus at the center of a politico-religious crusade to stop her exercising her constitutional right to terminate the pregnancy.

Rather than sit back and impotently bemoan Bristol's tragic, lonely circumstance, it is time for us - the silent majority - to unite behind this poor, imprisoned woman and save her from both a tyrannical household as well as the horrible nightmare of a forced childbirth.

These are not empty words. I, Doug Stanhope, am offering you, Bristol Palin, the sum of 25,000 dollars so that you can abort your child and move out of that draconian home. I have also set up a PayPal link so that others around the world can help increase this amount to ease the burden of starting out on your own at such an early age.

I was once in a similar situation where I'd accidentally impregnated a girl and she had to make that same fateful decision that now faces you. It was easy for her - she didn't have a fascist, oligarch parent, the entire Republican Party or the sneering eyes of the Christian Right to contend with, much less a daft, puppet boyfriend who's just waiting for the cameras to stop rolling so he can bolt like a gazelle.

We made the right choice and rather than end up bitter rivals in court battles over custody or support, we are great friends who high-five over our decision and have all the free time and disposable income that young mothers never know. I now pay it forward and offer some of that money to you.

You don't need to ruin your future in order to support the megalomaniacal self-promotion of a mother whose every action is rooted in a demonic ego and archaic superstition. Don't become victim of the same pressure that had your brother "volunteering" for duty in Iraq.

Please consider my offer as time is of the essence. You don't want this child, the father certainly doesn't want this child and the world doesn't need another wailing mouth to feed.

I empathize with the amount of attention, pressure and possibly out-right threats you are getting to give birth against your will and I understand that at your age, you may go through with it no matter how much you don't want to. Either way, you have inspired me to try to make a difference.

Even if you cannot take my offer, I will still use my money or money donated through this page to pay for at least one abortion for a disadvantaged teenage girl each year for the rest of my life in the name of your mother. And in my will, I shall have a good portion of my estate turned into the Sarah J Palin Abortion Fund that will help girls from all walks of life from destroying their lives and our natural resources by having children.

You are not alone, Bristol. There are many of us out here who care.

Please show Bristol you care by either donating or signing the guestbook to let her know that there is true love for her outside of her current surroundings.

A Few New Fundie Quotes

A while back I posted a list of the 100 top insane things said in Fundie websites. Here's a few new ones for you:

• I don't put my faith in science, so I don't believe the universe is what scientists say it is. The universe probably ends a few miles or so from the surface of the earth.
• Don't you see? Satan caused that. God has been taken out of our schools, work place and other places. So, God used [the terrorist attacks of] 911 to wake us up and say, 'You need me. Come back to me.'
• For the people who think homosexuals engage in consensual sex: they don't. They have a mental disorder (the different wiring I spoke earlier about) that prevents them from making sane judgements on who they should have sex with.
• Having sex with someone who isn't capable of making a sound judgement on whether or not they should have sex (either through drug use, mental capacity or age) is rape nearly everywhere in the world.
• Everything you do if you do not believe in God is a sin because you are not doing it for God
• Bush should support the recriminalization of homosexuality. That's a much more worthy endeavor.
• Do you actually think the FBI is going to stop looking for Muslim terrorists intending to set off suitcase nukes in order to stop me from sticking pro-morality bumper-stickers on cars belonging to faggots?
• Adolf Hitler was a homosexual.
• It is well know that the first Nazi in Germany were homosexuals.
• It is also well know that homosexuality was wide spread in the Rome Empire. So the Roman soldiers who crucified Jesus were probable homosexuals.
• I am just a messenger, I do not have to be smart. I just try to pass on the messages. Being intelligent was not on the employment application God gave me to fill out.
• scientists hav also discovered a great square mass of matter out in space believed to be heaven.
• Uri Geller, bends a spoon by thought only. Do you have a scientific explination for that? Can your evolution explain that? Can your theory of evolution explain how 1 man can know what the other is thinking (telepathy)?
• The nation's foundation is the Family unit. Divorce is but one enemy of marriage and the others are the gay and lesbian lifestyle and the educational system.
• Anything that targets children should be considered illegal like porno, pedophiles (in any profession), abuse, KKK , athiests, etc.

They just get better!

Because My Fiance' And I Watch Kitchen Nightmares

We watch the REAL Kitchen Nightmares, not the highly-edited, over-dramatized American version. (Isn't every thing American that way?)



If you've seen Gordon Ramsey, you'll laugh.

I...LOVE....Matt Damon?

Came across this amazing clip of Matt Damon talking about Sarah Palin. You NEED to watch this. I want to buy him a beer and be internet buddies!

W.....T......F

I watched this and more or less just stared, jaw dropped at the screen. Enjoy!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

It get's creepy! At one point the singer says how he tried to hide from Jesus but he found him and touched him down inside.... WTF.

Hillsong Update: Apparently I Pissed Off an Aussie

In late July, I posted a story on an Australian organization that is in public schools (you can read it here). I'm assuming you didn't read it because no one commented on it... except one person. This person, I'm guessing an Aussie because they refer to me as 'Mate' at one point, is not happy with me. I read the comment just now and wanted to respond to the statement. You can read the full comment here. And, because I love a good disagreement, here's the whole thing:

Anonymous said...

You are one very scared, nasty little man aren't you. What are you so scared of that you want to attack what Christians are trying to do or what we have that you don't, assurance that when we have eternal life it will be in heaven not hell. Look at society now, it is immoral, no, lets say ammoral, there are no moral boundaries, everything is acceptable, tolerated, celebrated. Society as a whole has fallen into such a pit that we have become numb to things the older generation would never have dreamed of doing.

Wake up. Do you know how many youth we have walking the streets at night becuase they don't want to be at home? how many children go to bed at night not knowing if they are loved or whether they have a purpose or self worth? All we as Christians want to do is show these children that they do have a purpose, that they were no accident, they have self worth etc etc. I see nothing wrong with girls being taught self grooming and personal hygiene, and how to have respect for themselves and that is is okay to say no to sex before marriage, not to conform to society.

Open your eyes mate, our children are lost, suffering, hurting, I honestly can't see how this is going to cause ANY harm, at least for a brief moment they might actually feel like someone cares for them and that they are alright.

This is exactly my heart, my passion and I am working hard to achieve it and get around our next generation, to get in at the foundational years before they screw their life up shacking up with the first boy who tells them that they "love them" and then before you know it we (as tax payers) are paying for them to have their baby, oh thats right, and then he takes off and we are now paying for a single mum. Isn't it better to get in at the foundational years and not wait until we are fixing the problem, isn't it better to be proactive instead of reactive?

August 23, 2008 7:29 AM

Okay, let's clear this up:

You are one very scared, nasty little man aren't you.

Firstly, I'm not scared. If I were scared I wouldn't have posted this... with my name on it.... Anonymous. (Get it?) Second, I am in fact 6'7" so little is a bad description. (I know you meant it in the mean, petty, trivial sense but I'm calling you out on the size issue as well.) Also, if you meant little as mean, then nasty doesn't really count, right? As for Nasty, I'm simply writing about something that I'm sure a lot of people can agree is pretty sinister (check the definition if you want to, I'm spot on) and if you don't agree, that doesn't make me Nasty, it just makes you petty.

What are you so scared of that you want to attack what Christians are trying to do or what we have that you don't, assurance that when we have eternal life it will be in heaven not hell.

Please stop phrasing your sentences as questions and not using a question mark. That's like me writing, "Why is it that you can't understand that if I don't believe in Heaven or Hell than I have nothing to be jealous of." See, doesn't read right. But seriously, not jealous. Can't be, if what you "have" isn't REAL. Oh, and what's your "assurance"? Your belief in the unfounded? The bible? I read The Lord of the Rings and I'm not waiting to meet Gandalf anytime soon.

Look at society now, it is immoral, no, lets say ammoral, there are no moral boundaries, everything is acceptable, tolerated, celebrated. Society as a whole has fallen into such a pit that we have become numb to things the older generation would never have dreamed of doing.

Hate to nit-pick, but the word is Amoral, just one M. ANYWAY... I find it interesting that you changed your mind on that. Are you saying that society simply doesn't recognize morality any longer, being as it has no standing in today's culture and that's why it is Amoral and not Immoral? Doesn't make sense. If we had once been moral and now are not, we would then be Immoral. I think you just like reading your own cleverness. Trust me, we can spot our own. As for your claim, let me say this:

I can't stand when people say that today's society, today's youth, today's culture, etc. just isn't what it used to be. BULLSHIT. You know why it isn't? Because we fucking MOVED ON. The only reason you may feel it was better "back then" is because you look at it through the lens of idealistic nostalgia. Do you want to go back to the more "moral" past? When would that be? During Biblical time when rape, murder, and general destruction reigned? (If you say that's an exaggeration, you need to READ your bible and not just swing it around at people's heads) Or maybe you would prefer a simpler time, say when slavery was in full swing? Good ol' days, right? The true moralistic era... at least for Massah'. Or maybe you would prefer the more moral period of segregation and the KKK? No? The 70's with LSD and Vietnam? Guess who else has said that society has fallen and it used to be better? EVERY OTHER GENERATION.

Wake up. Do you know how many youth we have walking the streets at night becuase they don't want to be at home? how many children go to bed at night not knowing if they are loved or whether they have a purpose or self worth? All we as Christians want to do is show these children that they do have a purpose, that they were no accident, they have self worth etc etc.

First, I'm awake. Second, allow me to answer your question with another; Are you kidding me? The fact is, bad things happen. I know it's a shock to hear, but they do. There will always be children who are in a bad situation and there will always be adults in the same. But, and here's the best part, there will always be people to help them if they can REGARDLESS of their religious affiliation. Sad kids are a fact of life. I don't like it, and I try to make a difference as I can. But to say that the Christians are the ones doing it is insulting to the rest of us.

Quick, name two things you did to help kids.

Okay, my turn. I recently raised a couple thousand dollars, gift certificates from grocery stores and clothing for a teen shelter in Maine with my fellow fraternity brothers. Second, when I was 19 and living in my first apartment, I took in a homeless kid and got him a job. He lived with us for almost a year and he was able to get back on his feet. I'm not Christian. I'm an Atheist. I want to help. I do help. I don't try to push a message or a value system on anyone. If you want to do good things for people, I applaud you. Just don't do it for recruitment's sake. (Please forgive my gloating on the whole "charitable acts" thing there)

I see nothing wrong with girls being taught self grooming and personal hygiene, and how to have respect for themselves and that is is okay to say no to sex before marriage, not to conform to society.

Apparently, you didn't read my post. If you did, you would have read about what IS wrong with the program. Oh, and self grooming? Are we headed back to the "Good ol' Days" again? Because it sounds like you're headed for some subjegatin'! Seriously, you seem to have forgotten everything about Women's Liberation, Gender Equality and Feminism. (I can't believe you're making me side with feminists)

Open your eyes mate, our children are lost, suffering, hurting, I honestly can't see how this is going to cause ANY harm, at least for a brief moment they might actually feel like someone cares for them and that they are alright.

Wow, lay it on thick. I thought you were going to ask me for a dollar a day. Honestly, I said it already, SOME kids have it bad and we should help them. Are you saying that ALL kids are having that experience? If you have children, are they having that experience? No. Even though we don't agree on this particular issue, I'm sure you would or are a caring and loving parent (aside from pushing religion on them). And the great thing is that most parents are the same way. We want what's best for our children. Unfortunately, some kids fall through the cracks of good parenting. These kids SHOULD have a system in place to care for them. But its not in a "grooming" class and you know it. No class room can love a child. And if you say that the class can bring the child to Christ, then you are letting your religion govern your charity and that's sad and selfish.

This is exactly my heart, my passion and I am working hard to achieve it and get around our next generation, to get in at the foundational years before they screw their life up shacking up with the first boy who tells them that they "love them" and then before you know it we (as tax payers) are paying for them to have their baby, oh thats right, and then he takes off and we are now paying for a single mum. Isn't it better to get in at the foundational years and not wait until we are fixing the problem, isn't it better to be proactive instead of reactive?

Your entire closing point is so closed minded, cliche and ignorant to the issue that I don't even need to respond. If helping children is your passion, then you need to find a better way to relate to them than vitriolic stereotyping. It's sad that some kids are in a bad situation, its sadder to think that you value your tax dollars more.

What The REAL Americans Are Saying About Palin

Remember what I said about Palin (or any politician) USING religion in their work? Well I've been trying to figure out how, just.... HOW can people back that? So I've been reading what they have to say online. Here's some fun ones:

• In general, a large block of American voters are incredible shallow and Palin ... well, just look at her.
• She has a sparky personality you can't help fall in love with
• Should we vote for the constitional party and then pray that the MCcain/Palin ticket wins and then pray that MCcain gets saved and then dies shortly afterwards.

Yeah, Vote for someone, then PRAY THAT THEY DIE! What the fuck? Is this what it boils down to?

• His (McCain's) policies are not in accordance with God's Law and therefore, if he wins and Palin is Veep, we need to pray the blessings of God on Palin if she would be the one who would do the most to uphold God's Law and the curses on McCain if he does not.
• Besides Dan Quayle, she would be the most overtly evangelical person elected to the executive office in our lifetime.
• There is more untapped oil in Alaska than in Saudi Arabia.
• The liberals are really tucking their tails in, now! God gave us Dominion over the Earth; let's make sure it stays that way.

Palin: Pray For Pipelines

I was wondering what would spur me to write about religion in politics with this election. I knew the Retardicans were gearing up and I thought something would happen. Then, lo-and behold...

Sarah fucking Palin.

I bit my tongue though, I waited. I read the rumors of down syndrome baby swapping and bit harder with the soap opera gossip. I drew blood I was biting so hard when she announced her daughter was pregnant. My spasmodic glee was so hard to contain with the famous right wing idea of sex education and abortion blowing up right in Palin's face. I even kept my cool with the whole "lets hunt wolves from planes" bullshit. I haven't said a word. And then I watched a video of her at a mega-church in Alaska.



About 2 minutes in, after spouting the usual niceties you have to spout being a politician, out comes the true evangelical-political dogma. The absolute absurdity of it!

"God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to BUILD A PIPELINE"

Really? That is just about the most facil use of prayer I have ever heard. That's the problem with politicians using God. It takes away accountability. God can do it, we don't have to. Or even worse, God wanted it that way so don't fight it. Is that what's necessary to run ANYTHING, let alone a country?

Around 2:30 is where it gets even deeper into fucking fuck FUCK crazy. She lists all the the things it takes to run a community as if it were tedious and boring. Ho-hum, doing my JOB. And then says it all means nothing if people aren't cool with God. Really? What about anyone who isn't Christian? Bigot.

I can't even coherently express my opinion of this anymore. Just watch it and see how mad you can get.

NILF?

I came across this today at D-Listed. Here's the scoop:

A priest in Italy will hold an online beauty contest for nuns to show the world that not all of them are old and homely. Rev. Antonio Rungi of Naples said he got the harebrained idea from the nuns he works with. He's lying. He probably got the idea from watching "America's Next Top Model." Thanks Tyra.

The "Miss Sister 2008" pageant will start next month. Nuns from around the world will be able to submit a picture of themselves along with a short bio. It will be their choice to pose with a veil or not. But can they post with JUST the veil and nothing else? I know there's some naughty nuns out there.

Rev. Rungi said, "We are not going to parade nuns in bathing suits. But being ugly is not a requirement for becoming a nun. External beauty is gift from God, and we mustn't hide it."

People will have one month to vote for which nun they think can "be a model." It's basically the holy version of "Hot or Not." Will the winner get a spread in the Catholic Bible?

Quick Update: Just a few hours after this went up, the Padre has canceled the show. Apparently his boss' were not pleased with the idea. Probably because they didn't go with the original plan; Fourth Graders. Thanks to D-List for the scoop.

Hamlet 2 Is Getting The Jesus Freaks All Testy

I dig Steve Coogan and I'm looking forward to seeing his new movie, Hamlet 2 once it makes it's way to the middle of nowhere. (I live one town over from there) I was on IMDB checking on release dates and happened upon some interesting ignorance on the forums. It seems that, since there is a running joke in the preview about a "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" music number, people are panning the film before it's even out and there are some really interesting comments on the film. Here are some of the interesting ones:

Me = Red

Them = Blue

Jesus didnt come here to be "sexy", sorry to dissapoint you. he came to save the world and he did, but still you have ppl like many imdb jerks who will not believe that and act all "eeh who cares its a sham", which i find very sad. and then they make the most asburd comments ive ever seen on here and its just like, pffft forget it, no point in trying to talk to these creeps.

How do you know if Jesus was sexy?

I'm eating my popcorn, enjoying myself and getting ready for the premiere show when that garbage filthy vile preview came on. I am authoring a letter to the animals who produced that movie and the local movie houses. If they play that piece of garbage in the theaters that I attend, it'llbe the last one I see there.

I bet you were first in line to see Expelled though.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap.
Galatians 6:7


Oh shit, the quotes are starting.

I hate atheists, Every single one of them should go choke on a scientist's dick and just shut up about every one else's beliefs.


I had to respond to this one on the forum, it makes more sense to read the thing there.


Your reasoning is off. This movie spoofs Jesus. Had they made a movie that had shown Muhammad in a similar fashion, Muslims would not tolerate it. There would be a fatwa issued against those involved in the making of this movie. Salman Rushdie is still in hiding and remember the Muhammad cartoons published in Denmark?
Hollywood wouldn't dare. So they go after Christians who they know won't do nothing more than perhaps a protest. It just goes to show what cowards they are in Hollywood and sleazeballs for constantly denigrating religion.


Really? And I quote... eh hem... "Dirka.... Dirka... Muhammed.... Jihad." - Team America.

I'm boycotting this movie. Cause it makes fun of my Savior...and thats not cool.


You wouldn't get the movie anyway.

F--k muslims, f--k this movie, and f--k all you who think it's ok to make fun of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


You said it! And by it, I mean the best possible summation of how ignorant and borderline retarded you are.

I hope this movie fails and if it succeeds, then God help all of us.


That's what I said about The Hottie and The Nottie

If you think this movie has some keen sense of comedy where a religious figure is transformed into some kind of stand up comic, you really, really need to take stock of your life.


Stock taken, see the movie so can learn what the word CONTEXT means.

Why is it always ok to make fun of Christians and Jesus in general?
Who ever said it was something that was ok to do?


I did. We cool?

Try pulling the same S*%# with the Muslims or Jews and your film career is over.
You automatically get labeled as insensitive or an anti-semite.
"F" this movie and all the people that contributed to it.

Again, please refer to the "Dirka" statement earlier. Oh, and how about EVERY cliche Jewish stereotype that has been portrayed in movies, either intentionally or just plain racist.

Well, I think we all learned something here. Christians will jump immediately to conclusions without the information or knowledge first, then proceed to angrily force that opinion on others.

Sounds about par for the course.

New Essay!

I know these aren't at all to do with Atheism, but they do stick with the blog title because I am in fact doing them, therefor answering the pesky question, "what would ray do?". ANYWAY, here's the new one, entitled T.G.I.F.A.I.D.S. Let me know what you think.


Dear American Broadcasting Company,

AIDS.

Now that I have your attention, let me spell it out for you.

A. I. D. S.

That’s right. I spelled it out for you. Are you shocked? Angry? Or… are you intrigued? My guess is the latter. And assuming this, I will continue to awe and entice you. Who gets AIDS? Well, you’d be surprised. Apparently, EVERYONE gets AIDS. Well, they CAN get it. I know, I know. I was just as amazed as you undoubtedly are. AIDS isn’t just for gays and black people anymore and its time we did something about it.

That’s why I’ve developed an almost unheard of strategy to stop the spread of AIDS and to bring health and unAIDSness to the masses. Why? Because I care… and no one else is doing a damn thing about it. I’m sure the world will want to give me a Nobel Prize or maybe feel the need to create and even Nebel-er Prize for my efforts, but I assure you my motives are purely humanitarian. Just the satisfaction of knowing I helped is enough. That and maybe an Emmy.

When I first heard about AIDS, I was flabbergasted. My gast was literally flabbered. I remember the day well, it was last Tuesday. “AIDS? That thing from the late 80’s,” I said. And I was right. Only, it didn’t end in the late 80’s like one would assume. No. It held on, much like ABC’s Friday night lineup, TGIF. Like AIDS, it too started in the late 80’s and grew. One would assume that AIDS faded out like the hit family comedy, The Dinosaurs or even managed to hang on as late as Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper. Surely it couldn’t last much longer. You’re wrong. Many fail to realize that it somehow stayed strong with shows like The Hughleys and many, many seasons of Step By Step. AIDS seemed to follow this formula by spreading throughout the world, completely unbeknownst to me and, I’m sure, everyone else.

But as TGIF segued into the wonderful edu-tainment news program 20/20, its time to stop laughing and get serious. We need to rally our people against this terrible and almost completely untalked-about disease. Or virus. Just as Polio was defeated or Lou Gehrig cured Lou Gehrig’s Disease, it is time to raise awareness for this horrible affliction. While I don’t know exactly what AIDS is or does, I have heard it’s pretty bad. Isn’t time we stopped it? Isn’t it time we started talking about it? Hasn’t it been long enough without people hearing about AIDS, or even its apparently benign cousin, HIV?

My proposal is simple; Reinstate the wonderfully fun and entertaining family programming of TGIF and involve AIDS themes in every single show. That’s two solid, quality programming hours of AIDS education. The best part? Fun while you learn. And isn’t that the best part of anything? Now I know that with this venture we will need a host. This host will have to be charismatic, charming, well known and educated in AIDS. This is a steep order, I know. But rest assured, I have thought of everything. The wonderful, sparkling personality of one Mr. Irving ‘Magic’ Johnson should be the perfect Host Shoe to our AIDS Friday Foot. (that analogy was beautiful) I did some research and, while it doesn’t appear that Mr. Magic was ever on TGIF, he does own a TGIFridays. I think that’s pretty close. Kismet?

I know the fine people of ABC are probably concerned with television things like ratings and demographics, but let me ease your query. With another disease, lets say the most popular one, Cancer, falls into demographics limbo. Why? Simple. Only women have breast-cancer and only men have prostate-cancer; Split demographic. But with AIDS, the whole family can benefit! AIDS babies, AIDS kids, AIDS Moms and AIDS Dads. Even Grandpa can get AIDS. It’s a win-win. In fighting AIDS I mean.

In closing, while TGIF was (and can still be!) entertaining and uproariously hilarious, AIDS is a serious matter. With your help, and my brilliant plan, we can bring AIDS to the forefront of the American mind where it belongs. No longer can it be something no one knows anything about. Its time we made AIDS history. And made AIDS history. I meant that two different ways, you know, cure it and also a monumental achievement made by me to cure AIDS.

Sincerely,

Raymond Harrington


P.S. – I’m not opposed to having my own show on the new TGIF either. Just so you and I know that. I’m open to anything.

Religulous!

While part of me sees Bill Maher as a poor man's Dennis Miller who, in turn, is a poor man's... The man was in What Happens In Vegas!

Okay okay, I can appreciate both guys for what they have to say. And even more so with Bill Maher, now that he's coming out with his new movie, Religulous.

Here, watch this.




Isn't that fun? I can't wait to see this. Yes, there have been some recent claims that his "tactics" were akin to the intellectual holocaust that is Ben Stein (Yeah, I said that.) but I'm willing to wait and see what there is here. After all, it comes from the Borat gang and frankly, you can't make a subversive documentary that has the religious right and TELL them you don't believe in God.

"Excuse me, Mr. Hitler? Hi, Shalom Goldmansteinberg here. Can I ask you a few questions?"

See, doesn't work.

Also, I recommend the Religulous website for some fun goodies to check out.

Essay: I Am (Will Be) Legend

My friend, Ryan Waning and I have made a deal to try our hand at writing some humorous essays and see what comes of it. Being stand-up comics and english majors both, we thought we were pretty capable. Now we shall see! Here is my first in what I hope are bunches:


I Am (Will Be) Legend


People always (never) ask me, “Ray, what is your plan to become Legendary?”
I always (never) reply, “The Plan.” This usually confuses people as my response is really just a restatement of the initial question. The reason I keep the answer vague is two-fold (three-fold);

1. It’s complicated.
2. I don’t want them to steal The Plan.
3. People rarely have the innovation and imagination and… -ation to recognize the amazing genius behind The Plan. (The genius is me.)

The Plan is quite simple and 100% (0%) fool-proof. The key to becoming Legendary is this;
Become famous, grow a beard and die.
You’re amazed.

This process has worked through out history in creating legendary people and it is time to take it, use it, make it mine. That’s right, everyone (My Mom) is going to realize they were wrong when they said Ray Harrington will never be anything. No longer will they say, “That’s Ray. He’s not legendary.” They’ll say, “That’s Ray. He’s a Legend.”

You may be asking yourself (You’re not), who has benefited from this Plan in the past? Well, let me answer your question with another question; Have you ever met a Legend? You haven’t. Because they’re all dead. Allow me to enlighten you (Make a list).

Abraham Lincoln

Jim Morrison

Jesus Christ

What do they have in common? Aside from being the obvious (Awesome beards), they’re all dead and Legendary. You can’t argue with greatness and that is what these men were. Great. Ness. After extensive research (45 seconds on Google), I have discovered that nearly all (Eighteen) Legendary men have beards… and are dead. Now the only question left to answer is, “How Legendary do I want to be?”

I could go full on Legend like Jesus, but I lack a lot of the key elements of his Legendary-osity (I am real). It seems most God-types, while mainly being arrogant, also follow the Beard-Dead Rule. Moses is another Judeo-Christian Legend but let us not forget Zeus and Poseidon. Two stunning beards and also dead, literarily speaking. No I think I will refrain from the supernatural and focus on more Earthly Legends. The mystical has always been lost on me, though Confucius had a pretty rocking beard. And he’s dead.

Perhaps a more artistic approach is needed for my goal (Destiny) to be achieved. John Lennon and Jerry Garcia, both bearded and dead, seem likely candidates, however I would need to learn an instrument to play and be able to write lyrics and what-not. And while being worthy of the title of Legend, I am not musically inclined (Love ABBA). Vincent Van Gogh and Ernest Hemingway are both Beard Legends but again, I don’t want to have to develop similar traits (Like talent, skill or alcoholism).

It seems that historical political Legends could be the way to go as they really don’t have to do anything particular other than speak eloquently (I speak SO good). However, upon further research (Another 30 seconds on Google), I find I lack the necessary mindset and achievements necessary to qualify as a political Legend. I don’t have anything in common with Abe Lincoln (I didn’t free black people), Robert E. Lee (I don’t hate black people), Frederick Douglass (I’m not black), or W.E.B Du Bois (I don’t know who that is).

I suppose a more sinister Legend can be achieved by becoming ominous, but to be honest, I just don’t have the dedication. It takes a lot of time to cultivate the proper level of “sinister” that say, Rasputin had (Not to mention his quite impressive beard). And the more academic ominous-ness-osity of say, Nietzsche requires more writing than I wish to do and I don’t incline to do any. Besides, he really didn’t have a beard, just a HUGE mustache. I also ruled out Osama Bin Laden for obvious reasons (His beard is rather unkempt).

No, the route I must take will be that of the consummate entertainer. Even Shakespeare is a Beard Legend, although I will not be following his example (Again, no writing, and I’m not Gay). The list is short in this field and I have it narrowed down to two Legends:

Santa

“Uncle Jesse” From Dukes of Hazzard

You might be saying (You’re not), It’s obvious! Go with Santa! But folks, its not that simple. Sure, Santa is much more Legendary than Uncle Jesse, but he also has a bitch of a time during the Holidays (And Jewish people think he’s a cunt). After some difficult debating (Thought about it for a few minutes while I was in the bathroom [I was pooping {not that its any of your business}]), I have decided that the only recourse in this endeavor is to embrace the Bearded Legend that is Uncle Jesse.

He fits all the requirements of Legend;

Beard – Check

Famous – Check

Dead – Sadly, Check

So it is to be, I will take up the mantle of Legend in following Uncle Jesse’s guiding light. Upside? Sweet car. Downside? Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson. And Sean William Scott. And the fact that its Dukes of Hazzard. But to focus on the negative is to invite defeat (Defeat is not invited). I will embrace the call to Legend and will delight in the day when everyone (Mom) says, “I knew him when” (Because I will never talk to her or any one I know after I am a Legend). Will it be a hard road? Yes (Not really). Will I persevere? Yes (No). Will I take full advantage of my status with the ladies? Yes (Yes).

After reading this, you may scoff or jibe or mock or deride or gibe or jeer (All taken from a thesaurus) at The Plan, but ponder this query (I didn’t look that up, I just knew it because I’m smart):

Is it better to be nothing in life (No), or to be Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazzard, Legend (Yes)?

Need To Confess About Your Porn Addiction?

For all my readers (3 people), you may be wondering where I've been for the last week and a half. Church, I've been at church. Jesus is amazing and I love him and he loves me and we're going to be sooooo happy together when I die.

To be honest, I felt kind of lack-luster when no one responded to my post about the creepy and insidious Australian church. OH WELL!

Here's one for you:

The XXX Church, while originally getting my hopes up, turns out to be just an ordinary church with a focus on "rescuing" people from porn. Check here to confess!

Isn't porn what the internet is FOR? I mean, yeah the internet is great for communicating and all that, but isn't porn one of the original guiding forces that expanded the success of the internet? Let's be honest here. Statistics show that Porn is the top reason people are online anyway. If you think about it, odds are that the people going to confess JUST MASTURBATED ON THE NET. Downtrodden and ready to slide their sticky mouse to the "Save Me" box and click away the sin of chicks with dicks and donkey shows. (While I've never actually witnessed either of these things, I find the poetic alliteration involved delightful... and I accidentally saw a chicks with dicks...thing unwittingly and it ruined my day. RUINED.)

So click away the sin, but realize all you're really doing is relieving the guilt.

Oh Ricky...

I came across a video on youtube that blew my mind the other day and while its not Atheism related, I felt the need to post it.

Here's the original clip:




And here's the clip I may or may not have edited. WATCH THIS ONE!!

Hillsong's "Shine" Class Drags The Woman's Movement Back To The 90's...The 1890's

Hillsong is an Australian Church Organization that has turned franchise and popped up all over the place. (You can check out their site here)

Mostly known for their praise music, they also have quite a bit going on in the schools as well.... PUBLIC schools. And what do they learn? Let's read a little from the article I found:

Every Tuesday afternoon during the first term at Matraville Sports High School, a group of young women take part in classes intended to boost their self-esteem. Some have personal problems, others have behavioural issues, while a few simply go because their friends do.

For the next two hours they learn a range of skills including how to put on make-up, do their hair and nails, and walk with books balanced on their heads.

Really?? That's supposed to boost self-esteem? Being a good little woman? How about TEACHING them something. Or... maybe try talking to them like human beings and not "training" them to be subservient. Didn't this shit die out right around the same time Polio did? (Ironic that religion tried to keep BOTH around, read some Hitchens to see what I mean)

Let's keep reading:

Hillsong describes Shine as a “practical, life-equipping, values-based course” and its website is awash with glowing testimonials from young women whose lives have been improved by learning about “being a good friend” and “learning about myself”.

Practical? Maybe, but don't girls learn ALL of this in everyday life? I mean, I never had to take a class on how to ride a bike or play man-hunt. (if you don't know what man-hunt is, its basically hide and seek but more... manly.... or something.... I don't know, it was what almost every guy has called it to make it seem a little less childish that they played hide and seek when they were 14... just drop it!)

Life-equipping? I don't even think that's a real word. Isn't that just a hot-button term that fills up space on a powerpoint presentation? Life-equipping. My Mom works with "Special Needs" and I think that's one of the things she has to do. Life-equipping. I had that lesson course; My Dad called me once and said, "Ray, don't grow up to be like me". Does that count?

Values-based? Okay, they like hyphens. By the way, from now on when you hear the term "Values-Based" just go ahead and use this equation:

Values Based = Christian Rules + Fear of Homosexuality - Tolerance

Let's keep reading:

“Through skin care, natural make-up, hair care, nail care girls discover their value and created uniqueness,” the material says.

Jesus Christ on a PogoStick, what the hell does that MEAN??? Oh, right. Let me translate that;

"Troubled girls often dress like Godless sluts and we want to change that. It's about time we had a return to good Christian Values."

See? That was easier to understand.

Thankfully, most people are aware of the blatant attempt to "infiltrate" the schools and the minds of young women:

“Over the last two or three years teachers have been coming to us with concerns about Shine,” said the president of the Hills Teachers Association, Sui-Linn White. “It is the gender stereotypes that they are imposing. The focus on skin care, nail care, hair care - it objectifies women … These are things women fought against for centuries - they’ve got no place in a public school.”
[...]

Parents groups from Queensland and the Northern Territory have complained that their schools have tried to sneak Shine in almost unnoticed.

“In our view, this is a way of getting religion into schools through subterranean means,” said one parent, Hugh Wilson. “The principal or the chaplain decides it’s a good idea and, next thing you know, your kids are being taught about make-up by the Hillsong Church.”

I love you, Hugh Wilson. Thankfully, parents like him are there to spot this. But why does it continue? Do some girls lack the older female role-model they need? Sure, so do some boys. But that is so far removed from the "teaching" that goes on in these classes that it just reinstates horrible stereotypes and societal controls that we have long since removed from our communities.... And I went to Home Ec!!

Oh, and for those of you that read the article and noticed the Anorexia Tag at the bottom, I'll be covering that VERY soon.

In Space, No One Can Hear You Pray

Answers In Genesis is yet another wonderful tool used by Literalists to brainwash kids. If you haven't heard of it, I really recommend finding out about it. They are the people who started the Creation Museum, the monument to "Make Our Own History" that plagues the religious world.

ANYWAY, I just came across this page in their kid's magazine...

Would you like to walk on the moon or fly in a space shuttle? Have you considered becoming a scientist? Scientists get to study all sorts of amazing things. And Christian scientists can study science in a way other scientists can’t. Knowing who God is and what He said in His Word, the Bible, is where knowledge really begins!

Um, I'm pretty sure you need to know a lot more than whats in the Bible to become anything like an astronaut. Physics helps. So does complex Geometry and the like. Oh and understanding that the earth is ROUND would be good as well, considering Galileo was tortured to death by the church for stating the very fact that the earth revolves around the sun, it doesn't look likely that "Christian Scientists" are very open to interpreting the facts correctly.

Christian Scientist.... is that not the most preposterous combination of words that you can imagine? Let's see, we'll take two words that have NO correlation and combine them to create a "field" that goes against the very foundation of knowledge and intelligence. First we tried a few other terms, but it didn't work out that well.

We tried Cookie Doctor, but there was a split in the group about "chewy" or "soft".

Isn't it just a little too close to Disney's Imagineers? Now I'm starting to get it. A massive organization that takes wants your money and constantly talks about their dead leader... I can't tell them apart. (other than Walt actually existed)

Why Can't They Make A Coherent Video?

This video starts out as someone's idea of a clever little "letter to God" and devolves into what can only be considered the youtube equivalent of a crazy, muttering senior-citizen in the throes of a "back in my day" fit. Enjoy!


UPDATE:

Considering the church shooting that just happened hours after I posted this, I would say the entire opening of this clip is voided. Unless God isn't allowed in church either? I really hope I don't sound careless when I point out the irony of a church shooting.

The Top Ten Worst Films To Stunt The Growth Of Humanity

1. Expelled

2. Passion Of The Christ

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10. Anything With Larry The Cable Guy In It

Elbows What Now?

This makes me... what?? And still the need to throw pictures of Passion of the Christ up there with it? Really? I mean... wtf?

Christian Websites: Why So Terrible?

While searching the interweb, one thing is clear; Christians don't know how to make a website. Some with awful navigation. Others have no discernable point or scary ethical/moral veiwpoints. And some websites are just so overloaded, they can make you blind. Whatever the case, these websites exist and it's time we recognized them.

Let's take a look at some!

We'll start with this great site. Put on some sunglasses for this one. Are the makers of this website talking about Jesus, or his technicolor dreamcoat? Oh, and don't ask me what that panther(?) is for on the bottom left corner. Now that I have blown your retinas, lets continue down the wonderful road of terrible, mind-numbing websites!

Here's another great one. (OK, so it's not a homepage, but it DID come up on a Google search, so I'm counting it) I think its wonderful to see that Jesus can set you free from the shackles of... okay, I can't even finish that sentence sarcastically. Pornography, Smoking, Overeating and Homosexuality. Are these really top of the list on the sin chart? I don't think so. I'll give them Homosexuality, seeing as it seems the be the sin-du jour for most uber-christians and I'll even grant them Porno seeing as it fits well with the whole... Puritan.... thing. But OverEating? REALLY? Smoking??! I'm starting to think that these issues are more about what the site creator has been "battling" rather than what's "best" for the world. But I'm not one to throw stones. I just hope that Jesus can help that fat, gay, wheezing, pervert.

Moving on. Let's look at another site. Here's a perfect example of two things that a LOT of Christian sites seem to love; Long, droning, list-like sites that seem more like a pamphlet and less like a website, and Space. Christian web developers LOVE Space. LOVE IT! Can't get enough of it. Take a look at some, you'll find at least a few on your own that have stars and space elements running through them. What's curious is that I can't understand how God is involved with Space. Is it supposed to represent where He is? Whhat He sees? Or is it just supposed to make you feel small? Whatever the case, I don't really envision a galactic theme when considering Jesus. ANYWAY, I do enjoy that they try to say something to everyone on this page. And it starts with the Jews!... And then, ALL of Mankind. Cuz the Jews aren't in that category? Oh, and don't you think that JesusChrist.com would be a little better than this? It's like going to CocaCola.com and finding a little site that says, "Soda is tasty, right? You should drink it". I'm sure there are a few zealots that really wish they could have that URL, but have to settle for throwing in a hyphen or an underscore in their address. Jealous?

Here's another example of the two things these websites love; SPACE AND DRONING!! I do find it ironic that the title is Let Us Reason.

These guys must have fallen victim to having to break up the Jesus and the Christ inthe URL. They must hate JesusChrist.com. Oh, and what is the main theme here?..... Hmmm..... Oh, yeah.... SPACE AND DRONING!!!

This one just confuses me. It says that its the "enter" page. A splash of sorts to get you to the site... but there's. no. site. It's perplexing really. FamilyFriendly something-or-other, the header is Give Your Life To Jesus, and then just a bible quote? And I have tried, TRIED to click on anything imaginable, but nothing. I don't get it. If you figure it out let me know.

And perhaps my favorite one, which I'll be tackling more thoroughly in a later post. This is so full of vitriolic ranting that it's hard to read more of a few sentences without either laughing or throwing up. And yet again, more Droning.

Finally, a website I can get behind. I think it should be linked in every Christian site!

That should do it. I hope you enjoyed the lovely tour through the intranets. If you have any sites that you think should join the list, let me know! I can imagine you might know of a few.

Remeber, just because you read it on the internet, doesn't make it true.

Atheistica! A Great Place To Visit

I've started my own country! That's right. I have. And you can be a national along with me if you want.

All we need to make Atheistica a bustling city is people to go to it. That's all, no clicking or anything, just go there and the country gets better. Why? Because I don't ask for much, that's why!

So join me, and if we get enough people on board, we're making it legit!... maybe not.

Welcome....

To Atheistica!