Saturday, October 4, 2008
Baptism: Why? or Why Not?
My fiance' and I have been talking lately about the future (as soon-to-be-married people are oft to do), but we've had trouble coming to a "win-win" solution. Here's the question:
To Bapt or not to Bapt?
Now, obviously neither of us want to have a baptism for our children, but we both recognize that our families might feel different. My mother, I'm sure would probably want it and my fiance' seems to think her mother might as well.
While we're both in agreement that it's not something we want to do, we've split in one aspect of the discussion; Can't we just let our parents do it if they want it?
My feeling is that, because the ceremony has no meaning to anyone outside of that faith and the child certainly doesn't know what's going on, then what's the harm of letting our parents, the baby's grandparents, have their baptism? It doesn't change the baby and it certainly doesn't affect or hurt anyone in the least bit. The child grows up not even remembering the day, and the people we care about that feel it is a necessary ceremony will have their rest-easy feeling. My fiance' and I just won't be a part of that day. Our parents, if they want to have a baptism, can plan it and arrange it and take the baby to church and get them dipped. We won't be a part of it, but no harm in letting them do it, and why create an unnecessary fight or make any one upset over a sink of water?
But my fiance' thinks otherwise. If we don't want it, then we shouldn't allow it to happen in any situation... or should we? We're both unsure as to what to do. Both points valid and, I'm sure, arguable by anyone. Her main point being that, we're The Parents and we should raise our children the way we want to. I can completely see the point and we just don't know what to do when that time comes.
It's interesting to think that we both have the same reason for either not wanting it or not minding it. But here's the difference in opinion: Hers being that, because we don't believe in the ceremony, we shouldn't allow it to happen to our children. My opinion being that, because we don't believe in the ceremony, who gives a shit if they do it and it makes our parents happy.
So what to do?
Dip, no dip?
Let me know! Oh, and by the way, we are not I repeat NOT having children anytime soon. We were simply discussing it last night for when we do have children. Just wanted to make a disclaimer!