What Would Ray Do?

I Know, I Know.... It's Been A While.

2009-05-06T13:34:00.001-04:00

But watch this and smile:

Why the hell can't more people stand up like this and say, "Ignorance isn't a political position"?

Wanna Get Really Mad?

2009-03-29T23:15:00.002-04:00

A while back, I posted a link to the "Fundies Say The Darndest Things" website top 100 list of crazy shit people have written on the webby-computer-nets. Now I would love to direct you toward the top 100 list for Racist People Say The Darndest Things!!

Go HERE!

Fun game: Note how many insane, racist comments include religion and, in particular, Christianity. Hate to sound like I'm singling them out... but don't hate the player, hate the game. If they're willing to target people from the comfort of their own keyboard, I guess I'm just as bad. I may be doomed for all eternity as a sinning Atheist, but I'm no hypocrite. Enjoy!

A Twelve Year Old Tells Us Abortion Is Wrong

2009-02-18T23:13:00.001-05:00

What could be a more appropriate topic for a speech assignment is 7th grade? Maybe discussing Homo-Sin-Uality or Jesus being the ONLY path. (Notice the little slip of "Who knows them all by name).

I can't begin to figure out where to focus my diatribe:

Is it the viewpoint being expressed?

Is it the clearly obvious fact that this little girl didn't write this speech herself and at best is regurgitating what her parents are pounding in to her head like an abortionist's coat hanger?

Is it the fact that this was for a 7th grade class and if my child was subjected to this, I would be outraged?

Is it the facial expressions that border on Annie-like Broadway stage enthusiasm to the point that I almost picture this girl dressed as a fetus on a poorly built stage made to resemble a massive uterus while shouting, "TOMORROW, TOMORROW!"?

Is it the odd, bare background and shaky camera movement mixed with frequent religious undertones and reference notes that make me feel like I'm watching a lost Waco tape?

Is it the, let's face it, raping of Seuss' story?

Is it the overwhelmingly sour smugness that this girls voice and expression exude as she berates?

Is it her quoting a pro-life website's message board as an example in her persuasion as if it were, dare I say the words, gospel?

No, these things bother me, but the heart (half formed and unbeating) of the matter is this:

She's F'n Twelve!!!!!

How the hell am I supposed to take any amount of seriousness in a 12 year old's discourse on a matter as intricate and multi-faceted as The Godfather? You can't expect a twelve year old to comprehend the slightest notion of the film. It's sense of family ties, moral division, 30's - 60's era organized crime.... And that's just a fucking movie! If I can't expect a pre-teen to handle the complexities of a film, why on earth would I turn to one on something like abortion?

I have never once stopped and thought to myself, "My personal standings on a difficult issue are decidedly obtuse. I know, I'll ask someone who still believes in Santa!"

I guess I can take solace in the fact that her argument is at just about the appropriate age level. (I.E. it's childish and crude)

Passion For Christ Movement's "Ex-Campaign" Is Insulting... And Hilariously Misguided

2009-02-04T21:50:00.003-05:00

So this website is making some... interesting shirts.

This is (I can't believe it either) a Christian message they are spreading. Somehow, they have decided that masturbation is something that needs to stop RIGHT NOW!! In their words:

We pray that you will join us in breaking the silence on an issue that has stayed silent for too long. Be the first to boldly rock your Ex-Masturbator shirt and let's change the world baby!

Now, apparently this is a pretty serious issue for this particular group of Christians. According to their partner-site, God is very much opposed to masturbation. Just read the letter he wrote for their article:

"Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly-but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder." *

Signed,

God

It goes on to say that the only sexual intercourse that is OK is the intercourse that takes place in a (straight) marriage. Even at the expense of common sense...

The sensation that many long to achieve was instituted, manufactured and conceived in the factory of God's mind. He knew the functionality of it, the mechanics of it, and the modus operandi. And God's method of operation for sex is marriage. He created the fibers of sex to be so strong that it could only be contained in the confines of marriage.

So.... God created orgasms and then marriage to contain them. What? One word comes to mind (no, not crazy): Animals. Animals achieve orgasm as well as humans. We do this because procreation/sex is pleasurable. It's pleasurable because without it feeling good, we never would have done it and we wouldn't be here. Oh and it also feels good because.... It's SEX! SEX FEELS GOOD AND IT IS OK!!

Why is masturbation bad?

Because God never created solo sex.

This, after saying God created everything involving sex. I'm sorry, you can't have it both ways. (unless you happen to have that sexual lifestyle)

The article goes on and on to make pubescent kids feel bad about themselves so if you want to read the whole thing, you're on your own.

The not-so-subtle 'Ex-Masturbator' message printed on the shirts isn't the only one they are printing.

You can get your very own Ex-Diva (not sure what that has to do with being Christian), Ex-Hypocrite (again, cloudy on the context), Ex-Atheist, and perhaps the most insulting... Ex-Slave.

Yeah, Ex-Slave. How that in any way an OK thing to put on a shirt? I can only interpret it in the context of the actual person wearing the shirt. So they used to be a slave? A literal Slave? Or just a slave in some stretch pertaining to Jesus in some odd way? Is it wrong that I find it offensive that a black guy is wearing the shirt?
Is it just me, or is it completely disgusting and offensive?
It's like a shirt that says Ex-Holocaust Prisoner.
And to put it in the same line as 'Ex-Masturbator'?
I wonder what would be said if it were an Atheist company making the shirts.

Perhaps the scariest part of all this are the replies on the website from people scrambling to get these shirts. How can fighting your own physiology be healthy? I don't think I've ever heard anyone but religious zealots say it was bad or bad for you. I guess what I'm saying is this:

Don't be a Jerk: Jerk Off.

Yep... Still Love Tim Minchin!

2009-01-20T17:19:00.002-05:00

Here's a great poem written by Tim about well.... Science. It's easire to understand if you've heard the way he can push words together and make a flow out of something that normally wouldn't. ENJOY!!

“Storm”

Inner North London, top floor flat
All white walls, white carpet, white cat,
Rice Paper partitions
Modern art and ambition
The host’s a physician,
Lovely bloke, has his own practice
His girlfriend’s an actress
An old mate from home
And they’re always great fun.
So to dinner we’ve come.

The 5th guest is an unknown,
The hosts have just thrown
Us together for a favour
because this girl’s just arrived from Australia
And has moved to North London
And she’s the sister of someone
Or has some connection.

As we make introductions
I’m struck by her beauty
She’s irrefutably fair
With dark eyes and dark hair
But as she sits
I admit I’m a little bit wary
because I notice the tip of the wing of a fairy
Tattooed on that popular area
Just above the derrière
And when she says “I’m Sagittarien”
I confess a pigeonhole starts to form
And is immediately filled with pigeon
When she says her name is Storm.

Chatter is initially bright and light hearted
But it’s not long before Storm gets started:
“You can’t know anything,
Knowledge is merely opinion”
She opines, over her Cabernet Sauvignon
Vis a vis
Some unhippily
Empirical comment by me

“Not a good start” I think
We’re only on pre-dinner drinks
And across the room, my wife
Widens her eyes
Silently begs me, Be Nice
A matrimonial warning
Not worth ignoring
So I resist the urge to ask Storm
Whether knowledge is so loose-weave
Of a morning
When deciding whether to leave
Her apartment by the front door
Or a window on the second floor.

The food is delicious and Storm,
Whilst avoiding all meat
Happily sits and eats
While the good doctor, slightly pissedly
Holds court on some anachronistic aspect of medical history
When Storm suddenly she insists
“But the human body is a mystery!
Science just falls in a hole
When it tries to explain the the nature of the soul.”

My hostess throws me a glance
She, like my wife, knows there’s a chance
That I’ll be off on one of my rants
But my lips are sealed.
I just want to enjoy my meal
And although Storm is starting to get my goat
I have no intention of rocking the boat,
Although it’s becoming a bit of a wrestle
Because - like her meteorological namesake -
Storm has no such concerns for our vessel:

“Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy
They promote drug dependency
At the cost of the natural remedies
That are all our bodies need
They are immoral and driven by greed.
Why take drugs
When herbs can solve it?
Why use chemicals
When homeopathic solvents
Can resolve it?
It’s time we all return-to-live
With natural medical alternatives.”

And try as hard as I like,
A small crack appears
In my diplomacy-dike.
“By definition”, I begin
“Alternative Medicine”, I continue
“Has either not been proved to work,
Or been proved not to work.
You know what they call “alternative medicine”
That’s been proved to work?
Medicine.”

“So you don’t believe
In ANY Natural remedies?”

“On the contrary actually:
Before we came to tea,
I took a natural remedy
Derived from the bark of a willow tree
A painkiller that’s virtually side-effect free
It’s got a weird name,
Darling, what was it again?
Masprin?
Basprin?
Asprin!
Which I paid about a buck for
Down at my local drugstore.

The debate briefly abates
As our hosts collects plates
but as they return with desserts
Storm pertly asserts,

“Shakespeare said it first:
There are more things in heaven and earth
Than exist in your philosophy…
Science is just how we’re trained to look at reality,
It can’t explain love or spirituality.
How does science explain psychics?
Auras; the afterlife; the power of prayer?”

I’m becoming aware
That I’m staring,
I’m like a rabbit suddenly trapped
In the blinding headlights of vacuous crap.
Maybe it’s the Hamlet she just misquothed
Or the eighth glass of wine I just quaffed
But my diplomacy dike groans
And the arsehole held back by its stones
Can be held back no more:

“Look , Storm, I don’t mean to bore you
But there’s no such thing as an aura!
Reading Auras is like reading minds
Or star-signs or tea-leaves or meridian lines
These people aren’t plying a skill,
They are either lying or mentally ill.
Same goes for those who claim to hear God’s demands
And Spiritual healers who think they have magic hands.

By the way,
Why is it OK
For people to pretend they can talk to the dead?
Is it not totally fucked in the head
Lying to some crying woman whose child has died
And telling her you’re in touch with the other side?
That’s just fundamentally sick
Do we need to clarify that there’s no such thing as a psychic?
What, are we fucking 2?
Do we actually think that Horton Heard a Who?
Do we still think that Santa brings us gifts?
That Michael Jackson hasn’t had facelifts?
Are we still so stunned by circus tricks
That we think that the dead would
Wanna talk to pricks
Like John Edwards?

Storm to her credit despite my derision
Keeps firing off clichés with startling precision
Like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition

“You’re so sure of your position
But you’re just closed-minded
I think you’ll find
Your faith in Science and Tests
Is just as blind
As the faith of any fundamentalist”

“Hm that’s a good point, let me think for a bit
Oh wait, my mistake, it’s absolute bullshit.
Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved.
If you show me
That, say, homeopathy works,
Then I will change my mind
I’ll spin on a fucking dime
I’ll be embarrassed as hell,
But I will run through the streets yelling
It’s a miracle! Take physics and bin it!
Water has memory!
And while it’s memory of a long lost drop of onion juice is Infinite
It somehow forgets all the poo it’s had in it!

You show me that it works and how it works
And when I’ve recovered from the shock
I will take a compass and carve Fancy That on the side of my cock.”

Everyones just staring at me now,
But I’m pretty pissed and I’ve dug this far down,
So I figure, in for penny, in for a pound:

“Life is full of mysteries, yeah
But there are answers out there
And they won’t be found
By people sitting around
Looking serious
And saying isn’t life mysterious?
Let’s sit here and hope
Let’s call up the fucking Pope
Let’s go watch Oprah
Interview Deepak Chopra

If you’re going to watch tele, you should watch Scooby Doo.
That show was so cool
because every time there’s a church with a ghoul
Or a ghost in a school
They looked beneath the mask and what was inside?
The fucking janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide.
Throughout history
Every mystery
EVER solved has turned out to be
Not Magic.

Does the idea that there might be truth
Frighten you?
Does the idea that one afternoon
On Wiki-fucking-pedia might enlighten you
Frighten you?
Does the notion that there may not be a supernatural
So blow your hippy noodle
That you would rather just stand in the fog
Of your inability to Google?

Isn’t this enough?
Just this world?
Just this beautiful, complex
Wonderfully unfathomable world?
How does it so fail to hold our attention
That we have to diminish it with the invention
Of cheap, man-made Myths and Monsters?
If you’re so into Shakespeare
Lend me your ear:
“To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,
To throw perfume on the violet… is just fucking silly”
Or something like that.
Or what about Satchmo?!
I see trees of Green,
Red roses too,
And fine, if you wish to
Glorify Krishna and Vishnu
In a post-colonial, condescending
Bottled-up and labeled kind of way
That’s ok.
But here’s what gives me a hard-on:
I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant lump of carbon.
I have one life, and it is short
And unimportant…
But thanks to recent scientific advances
I get to live twice as long as my great great great great uncles and auntses.
Twice as long to live this life of mine
Twice as long to love this wife of mine
Twice as many years of friends and wine
Of sharing curries and getting shitty
With good-looking hippies
With fairies on their spines
And butterflies on their titties.

And if perchance I have offended
Think but this and all is mended:
We’d as well be 10 minutes back in time,
For all the chance you’ll change your mind.

The Abstinence Clown?

2009-01-17T13:18:00.003-05:00

The hard part of watching this is trying to decide to either hate him or pity him. I mean, this is his LIFE.... Oh well. Watch carefully as he tries to "smoothly" transition into the whole "don't have sex" theme that he's inevitably been leading toward. The way he does it is completely arbitrary. He might as well say, "You have to do one other thing to make your dream..... You have to kill a Hobo with a knife." How does not fucking someone assure your success in life? Shit... most people would measure it the other way! Oh well, enjoy the 'clown'.

If There Is A God...

2009-01-15T20:01:00.003-05:00

Explain this:

Tim Minchin: A Funny Man Singing About The Absurdity Of Religious Rules

2009-01-12T11:08:00.002-05:00

I've been meaning to listen to Tim's latest special for a while and I finally checked it out. I'm glad I did, he's great! Here he is singing a song called 10 Foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins:

Because I Love The Wire....

2009-01-08T11:07:00.002-05:00

If you haven't seen the Wire, see it! And DON'T watch this!!! It has nothing BUT Spoilers.

If you have, then watch it!

This American Life Needs Us!!

2008-12-30T19:56:00.003-05:00

Okay, I love This American Life, the most unique and wonderful radio program that ever graced these ears. If you listen to the show, great! I feel like we can connect. If you haven't heard of it, that's fine... just make sure you give it a listen PRONTO. If you have heard of it but haven't listened to it yet, see previous statement. If you don't like the show, then I have no time for you seeing as you can't even exist anyway cuz NO ONE doesn't like This American Life!

That said, they are feeling the economic crunch. WBEZ in Chacago, where TAL calls home, has already had to lay off a dozen or so people and may ahve to do more trimming in the budget. So here is the deal. Most poeple that listen to the show do so by downloading the free FREE! podcast each monday of the episode that aired brand spanking new on friday. This costs WBEZ 150,000 dollars a year for bandwitdth alone! All so we can listen for free.

SO.... Ira Glass is calling on you. And me. I already donated today and want to give you the same oppurtunity. Click the following to do so:

DONATE DONATE DONATE!!!

Oh, and if you are so inclined, it's tax-deductible. I have never asked for money on here*, but I really love the show and you more people need to hear it. Thanks for reading my begging/diatribe.

*If you want to give me money for the site though, you should.

Christmas Is Over.

2008-12-28T02:00:00.001-05:00

If I had a Time Machine.... XMas Style

2008-12-22T18:31:00.002-05:00

Why can't the War on Christmas learn a little something from... well... 1984. Not the Orwell masterpiece, no. The year (and some would say Era) of 1984. That's right. Take a look at this video and tell me it doesn't warm your heart to see all these people all adorably "cool" in rediculous clothes and hairstyles. That's what we'll look like to the youth of tomorrow. Enjoy!

So come on Bill-o and we Atheists, let's be a little more like this video. Do you think Sting and Bono REALLY got along? No. Too much ego for two people to co-exist. But they joined forces however briefly for the good of... the world. Oh, and Wham! and Boy George, etc.

"Give Me A FUCKIN' Break Michael"

2008-12-22T16:33:00.002-05:00

I swear she seems like a character Amy Sedaris would do. Happy Winter Solstice.

The War On Christmas

2008-12-18T12:55:00.004-05:00

Bill Bill Bill, when you talk, is it just to hear your own voice? Or is it to drown out the rest of the people around you telling you you're WRONG? By know I'm sure you've heard about the FFRF plaque in Olympia, Washington. I like it, I just wish the wording had been slightly more passive at the end, just so there could be less ammunition for the conservative blowhards up in arms about it.

The fact remains that, in any given public area that has been cleared for displays, Atheist displays are just as viable and protected as any Nativity Scene or any religious display. I mean, I think if I was a believer, a hollow, plastic, glowing, plugged in Jesus would be more offensive than someone else's beliefs. But it's Bill's thick wall of ignorance that is the problem. The self proclaimed "War on Christmas" that he and his ilk have claimed to be happening.... is that even remotely realistic?

The war on Christmas is over. Christmas lost. And it won. Because it wasn't fought in the streets or in the courts or even in the schools. It was fought at Walmart and Best Buy. It was fought by Santa and Jesus and Santa won with a surprise right-cross with a Visa Debit Card in his hand. Every Christmas Tree faced off against all the Crucifix' and, some say because of the hight advantage and Jesus' off balance pose, the Tree's had them beat in no time. The presents won in a landslide victory against communion. The Grinch and Charlie Brown and Home Alone became the new Trinity and all was good.

The war on Christmas. Never happened. Christmas is as much about Jesus as St. Patrick's Day. I'm an Atheist and I love Christmas, not because of any religious references or traditions (they've all but dissapeared) but for what Christmas is really about; Family and Friends... and buy a shit load of stuff and propping up a portion of the economy one wish-list at a time. No one thinks fondly of their Christmas' past and see's religion, they see dinner with the family, presents under the tree, Lego's and Barbie.

So Christmas is what it is, the middle of winter, the time of the solstice, and a chance to get together with family and take some time off work. You want a real Bad Guy for crimes against Christmas? Talk to Jim Carry about remaking a live action Grinch. There's your culprit. Go get him, Bill.

Ho Ho Ho.

A Great Video

2008-12-09T18:15:00.002-05:00

Here's a fun video I came across thanks to my friend Colby. I know he doesn't see eye to eye with me on religious matters, but it's nice we can both enjoy this.

Notice such a nice gesture can be made with out the mention of God? I'm not making this an atheist video, I'm just saying it's cool.

It's also cool to see New Orleans and spot places we've been, I.E. the Disney World looking church in the background.... is that a religious tone? Crap.

I Love This Video... All It Needs Is Kieth Olbermann.... And A Time Machine.

2008-12-03T12:27:00.002-05:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

There are about a dozen people that I really enjoy in this musical, among the most noteworthy John C. Reilly, Neil Patrick Harris and Jack Black. The fact that this is funny, chock full of celebs and a great message makes me wonder just one thing:

WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS A MONTH AGO???

Don't get me wrong, I love the clip and the fact that they did it makes me smile and, admittedly, I will enjoy their work even more now that a part of me can recognize that they all have a sense of Liberty for the people. But I have to wonder why it took so long? No matter, I can't fault them for a wonderful performance.

Perhaps Proposition 8 being voted in was actually the best thing to happen to the movement? Perhaps now, decent people will stand up for what they believe in and won't let the ignorant choose their freedoms. Perhaps this will be seen in the future as the catalyst for change. We can only hope.

Until that day and even more upon it, I'll keep laughing with the smarter crowd.

Just When I Start To Get My Head Around People Believing Rediculous Things...

2008-12-02T09:55:00.001-05:00

Hmmmm, Jesus just seems so.... normal now.

Great, now I'm starting to side with the Christians? At least there preposterous myth has SOME semblance of history I.E. it's been passed down over the years through families. Still not a reason to believe in it, but an understandable way in which people fall into it.

But with this, you have to start with it brand new and that's rediculous. I mean, how the hell does something like religion just "start up"?? It's the alleged "beginning" and, if it were true, the absolute most important thing in the world... ever! That shit doesn't just get "realized" by some 40 year old, new age, dreamcatcher selling, hypocrite in Nevada.

Show This To Anyone Telling You Gay Marriage Isn't OK

2008-11-13T12:54:00.000-05:00

Today

2008-11-04T23:59:00.001-05:00

Today I became a little more Proud to be American.

Remember To Vote This Election...

2008-10-22T01:38:00.002-04:00

This is via Travesty In Training, my acoustic comedy duo. For more information, check the link to the right:

Wanna Puke? Or Maybe Load A Gun?

2008-10-20T20:12:00.000-04:00

Which One Is Scariest?

2008-10-17T17:41:00.002-04:00

In honor of the most godless of holidays... at least to the severely religious... Halloween, take a look at the following videos and tell me which one terrifies you the most... For me it's a tie between #1 and #3... mainly 3, but seriously, cupcakes?:

Awesome/Terrifying Website

2008-10-15T18:04:00.000-04:00

GO HERE!

Baptism: Why? or Why Not?

2008-10-04T13:04:00.004-04:00

My fiance' and I have been talking lately about the future (as soon-to-be-married people are oft to do), but we've had trouble coming to a "win-win" solution. Here's the question:

To Bapt or not to Bapt?

Now, obviously neither of us want to have a baptism for our children, but we both recognize that our families might feel different. My mother, I'm sure would probably want it and my fiance' seems to think her mother might as well.

While we're both in agreement that it's not something we want to do, we've split in one aspect of the discussion; Can't we just let our parents do it if they want it?

My feeling is that, because the ceremony has no meaning to anyone outside of that faith and the child certainly doesn't know what's going on, then what's the harm of letting our parents, the baby's grandparents, have their baptism? It doesn't change the baby and it certainly doesn't affect or hurt anyone in the least bit. The child grows up not even remembering the day, and the people we care about that feel it is a necessary ceremony will have their rest-easy feeling. My fiance' and I just won't be a part of that day. Our parents, if they want to have a baptism, can plan it and arrange it and take the baby to church and get them dipped. We won't be a part of it, but no harm in letting them do it, and why create an unnecessary fight or make any one upset over a sink of water?

But my fiance' thinks otherwise. If we don't want it, then we shouldn't allow it to happen in any situation... or should we? We're both unsure as to what to do. Both points valid and, I'm sure, arguable by anyone. Her main point being that, we're The Parents and we should raise our children the way we want to. I can completely see the point and we just don't know what to do when that time comes.

It's interesting to think that we both have the same reason for either not wanting it or not minding it. But here's the difference in opinion: Hers being that, because we don't believe in the ceremony, we shouldn't allow it to happen to our children. My opinion being that, because we don't believe in the ceremony, who gives a shit if they do it and it makes our parents happy.

So what to do?

Dip, no dip?

Let me know! Oh, and by the way, we are not I repeat NOT having children anytime soon. We were simply discussing it last night for when we do have children. Just wanted to make a disclaimer!

What The No-Hell Is Sarah Palin Trying To Say Here?

2008-09-30T19:16:00.003-04:00

This quick clip boggles my mind. Palin (who can kill a 600 pound black bear simply by throwing a bullet) tries to make a joke... about Biden being old.... being old....OLD. When you have a running mate that has daily meetings with the Angel of Death, I don't think an "old man" joke works. When she tries to explain WHY the joke is at all a... joke... she really only manages to say she's a terrible candidate. Congratulations Sarah; I have an I.Q. of 142 and you have managed to use your fucking "folksy hockey-mom sensibilities" and make me drool from confusion.

I know I'm at risk of sounding like the meanest person on the webbynets, but fuck it: Now I know where Trig got his smarts.

Oh, Bill... It's Just Like You!!

2008-09-30T18:58:00.001-04:00

I loved the Lil' Gordon Ramsey, but I think this MAY top it. I'm not sure, the Gordon was such a smooth production. Oh well, you decide:

Little Bill O'Reilly.

Ladies And Gentlemen; "McSame's Strongest Supporter"

2008-09-29T22:09:00.002-04:00

If this doesn't make you sad to be American, I don't know what will:

SNL: Stop Not (making me) Laugh

2008-09-28T00:44:00.002-04:00

Remember when SNL was funny? Remember when it was a great platform for a comedic generation? Phil Hartman, Chris Farley, Mike Meyers, Adam Sandler, etc. All on the show at the SAME TIME. Now look. We have... the guy that does this tame character over and over... that girl who does that character every week... that other guy who is in every sketch... that girl who everyone says is funny but I haven't seen it yet. (Kristin 'nintendo' Wiig)

The problem? The current cast has become so determined to create recurring characters that they have forgotten the main point of the show; Sketch Comedy. Not, "Isn't this chracter funny? I talk so funny! I look hilarious!" That's one step up from improv comedy and we know how 'funny' that is.

Are there any REAL shining cast members? I know, I know, Wiig is hilarious. I would say she's more just funny sometimes and when you compare that with the basically wall-paper level comedy in the rest, it stands out.

So why are they so focused on characters? I think it starts with the career take-offs that came with the mid 90's cast. The rocketing success of the likes of Mike Meyers and Adam Sandler showed that characters stick in the mind of the viewer and really CAN help a career. BUT... only if the characters are really creative and, more importantly, the characters DON'T BECOME A MOVIE!! That's death. Career and comedy death. No, using SNL as a springboard is fine, but you have to develope, move on, and create anew. Perfect examples being Sandler, who went on to develope a rather succesful career and basically being fun. He was able to take the character style that comes with SNL and expand that to a workable career. Mike Meyers did this as well, though more so because he was the only cast member to carry an SNL character over to film succesfully. (A minor example is Will Ferrel, but he's really just bringing more SNL characters to the big screen and with diminishing success. Try more Stranger Than Fiction, Will!)

The damage of this previous success is seen in the work of the current cast. They're more focused on the success to come and not SNL. You can see this in the amount of outside work that the cast is doing. Everyone seems anxious to become the next SNL cast member to 'break out' that they aren't being cohesive. The simplest reason that the mid-90's cast worked so well is that they were working TOGETHER. They had fun and you could tell when the cameras rolled. Even when the 'Gap Girls' couldn't manage their lines without cracking up, the sketch worked because we were able to laugh with them. Everyone worked the sketch for the sake of the sketch, not so one cast member could showcase a new 'hilarious' character.

Wigs and make-up and a funny accent don't create comedy, it's the originality and spark in the work. When you focus on the spotlight, you can't create that. Are all the sketches horrible? No. I still enjoy a sketch here or there. (As much as I don't want to admit it, Andy Sambergs Digital Shorts and SOMETIMES be entertaining and some of the cast manage to do a pretty good job fairly regularly. Mainly, I miss Tina Fey.) But the consistant question I ask my self every week I manage to catch the show is, "Why did that sketch make it on the show?".

So... SNL, I know the cast can be funny. You've proven it in rare moments. All of the cast is talented and I'm not arguing that at all. You ARE funny. Just focus on SNL, not what you're going to get from it. You have to be great before you can expect the label.

Obama The AntiCrhist?

2008-09-24T11:33:00.003-04:00

This guy is Jim Bramlett. He's a former employee of CBN and Campus Crusade For Christ, you know, the college level nazi recruitment group? ANYWAY, Jim seems to have a theory about Barack Obama. Let's read shall we?:

Dear friends:

Barack Hussein Obama has taken the nation by storm. From obscurity, with zero executive experience, or much of any kind, he has vaulted into the position of Presidential frontrunner. It is stunning. On the surface, it appears attributable only to his eloquent oratory and his race. But an invisible factor may be a strong spiritual force behind him, causing some people to actually swoon in his presence.

I have been very concerned that he has publicly said that he does not believe Jesus is the only way to heaven. This makes both the Bible and Jesus a liar, and it means that Christ has died in vain. A person cannot be a true Christian who believes that there are other ways of forgiveness, salvation, and eternal life with God. Only Jesus has paid the price for that.

Therefore, there is, indeed, another spirit involved. And this spirit has come into our national life like a flood. Last week at Obama's acceptance speech, that spirit exalted itself in front of a Greek temple-like stage, and to a huge audience like in a Roman arena. Omama was portrayed as god-like. His voice thundered as a god's voice.

At the end, Democratic sympathizer Pastor Joel Hunter gave the benediction and shockingly invited everyone to close the prayer to their own (false) gods. This was surely an abomination, but it was compatible with Obama's expressed theology, and Hunter's leftist leanings.

God was not pleased.

Well, he's definitely not happy. But what could save us from this heathen? I mean, surely this is a force to be reckoned with. We need SOMEONE!!

Enter Governor Sarah Palin. With incredible timing, the very next day, Sarah Palin also appeared out of nowhere. Her shocking selection as John McCain's running mate stunned the world and suddenly took all the wind out of Obama's sails.

We quickly learned that Sarah is a born-again, Spirit-filled Christian, attends church, and has been a ministry worker.

Sarah is that standard God has raised up to stop the flood. She has the anointing. You can tell by how the dogs are already viciously attacking her. But they will not be successful. She knows the One she serves and will not be intimidated.

Back in the 1980s, I sensed that Israel's little-known Benjamin Netanyahu was chosen by God for an important end-time role. I still believe that. I now have that same sense about Sarah Palin.

Today I did some checking and discovered that both her first and last names are biblical words, one in Hebrew the other in Greek:

Sarah. Wife of Abraham and mother of Isaac. In Hebrew, Sarah means "noble woman" (Strong's 8283).

Palin. In Greek, the word means "renewal." (Strong's 3825).

A friend said he believes that Sarah Palin is a Deborah. Of Deborah, Smith's Bible Dictionary says, "A prophetess who judged Israel…. She was not so much a judge as one gifted with prophetic command…. and by virtue of her inspiration 'a mother in Israel.'"

Only God knows the future and how she may be used by Him, but may this noble woman serve to bring renewal in the land, and inspiration.

Jim

(His emphasis, not mine)

So what do we learn from this? That there are some amazingly stupid people out there. "Look! That person fits our narrow, ignorant lifestyle!" "She's from GOD!!!!". Maybe God shouldn't send someone who's down with killing animals from planes. Or maybe someone who blindly supports a pipeline regardless of the impact on Alaskan wildlife. Somehow, that doesn't seem Christ-like, does it? Would Jesus come down from heaven and tell Rape victims to cough up cash? Maybe.

Here's my letter:

Dear Jim,

You're a dumb, mildly racist fucking asshole.

Love,

Ray

Art Is Serious

2008-09-19T17:05:00.001-04:00

Here's a new video I made!

PART 1

PART 2

I'm Sick Of "Pride" In Ignorance

2008-09-18T10:52:00.002-04:00

I can't stand it when some prideful Christian proudly proclaims, "Only book I read's the Bible!". As if that is something to be proud of. If you read the Bible, great. I've read it three times and each time it was more and more obvious what I was reading. Not to mention, as far as literature, it's not the best read out there. Shit, Dan Brown can out write some of the writers involved in the Bible. (Seriously, Dan Brown is quite possibly the worst writer alive and exists solely to write books that people who don't regularly read will buy.)

ANYWAY, it looks like Mariah Carey has joined the ranks of the ignorant proclaimers, are you surprised?

Seems so Christian, right?

It looks like, in an interview for Now Magazine, she stated, "The only book I make time to read is the Bible."

Okay, let's get one thing straight here; The Bible is NOT a "book". Yes, it is a book in the sense that it is pages bound in a collection, but it is not a book in the sense of "what have you read lately?"

I would argue that regular readers of the Bible aren't actually "reading". When you read a book, or article or asshole's opinions on a rarely-visited, selfish blog... reading involves a process of critical thinking. This critical thinking, by definition of being a believer, is absent from a regular reader of the bible. Your not "reading a book", your towing the party line, sorry... being "spiritual".

So when someone says the only book they read is the Bible, go ahead and translate that to, "I don't read and I reject the idea of new thoughts that aren't previously formed and approved by others. I'm ignorant."

Selling Some Art (a.k.a. shameless pandering)

2008-09-16T16:26:00.005-04:00

I've recently sold some artwork at a local cafe' and it has made me realize that A) Strangers DO like it and B) I don't feel as horrible as I thought I would losing my paintings, I actually like the idea of it being on someone else's wall.

SO.... Here's some of what I'm selling, if you are in the least bit interested, let me know! And if you like it/hate it, let me know, too. I have a general idea of what I would like to charge, but would rather work that out with people so just throw out a price. I only ask that shipping be paid separately as it does cost money that I don't really have. Now I feel greedy and selfish... it'll wear off.

All my stuff is SprayPaint ONLY! I only work in spraypaint and stencils. Everything you see here, other than the guitar, are all Spray Paint on Canvas. Mainly Rusto... a little Krylon.

Spray2 - It's a rather small 5X7, but it's one of my favorites. This is the original and is not for sale, however I do have an identical one that I am selling.

Balloon Girl (Banksy Rip) - This is two 11X14 (I think) canvases. Originally a Banksy stencil, but I liked the idea of using two canvases.

Moral Majority - This is another 11X14 canvas that fits more with the blog than anything else.

October - Two 11X14's again. This stencil was SOOOO time consuming. This one might be sold already, but let me know if you're interested.

WTC1 - This is the second 9/11 based painting I did. (The other one just sold at the cafe') This is a bigger canvas, roughly 30" across.

City Boy - My favorite of the bunch! A nice sized canvas, around 24" in height. You can't really see the reflectiveness of the Gold in this, it's not really shiny, but it's nice.

Faucet - A nice 3 layer stencil. 11X14.

Experiment In Technique #1 - 11X14. This was a fun night of working on my splatter control.

Cog - 11X14. Great color contrast in person.

Pill Bomb - A 3 Layer stencil. Another 24" canvas. I was obsessed with getting a pill to look like a bomb for weeks with this.

Mic2 - I made one of these for a friend and then I made another for me... now I'm selling it. 11X14.

After The War (Banksy Rip) - 11X14. I love Banksy and wanted to do my own take on his work.

Jesus Shaves - My first stencil! A pretty fitting one for the blog, too. About 24" in height.

Balloon Girl on Guitar - This is an old classic string guitar that a friend gave me. I wanted to Art the shit out of it and I think it came out nicely. I didn't re-string it but it can be and played.

Brown Mouse V. Grey Mouse - Two 11X14 canvases. I really enjoy working with this stencil and have used it on a lot of pieces.

Palin - "Rape = Cash"

2008-09-16T12:05:00.002-04:00

I'm sure you've already heard about the latest Sarah Palin bullshit, but if you haven't... here it is:

Apparently while Palin was Mayor of WaMetha, she supported the charging of Rape Kits to victims. That's right, a rape victim would be charged the $500 to $1200 for the... privilege?... of getting the exam. Palin's crew has already denied her knowing about it, but as the HuffingtonPost has said -

Under Sarah Palin's administration, Wasilla cut funds that had previously paid for the medical exams and began charging victims or their health insurers the $500 to $1200 fees. Although Palin spokeswoman Maria Comella wrote USA Today earlier this week that the GOP vice presidential nominee "does not believe, nor has she ever believed, that rape victims should have to pay for an evidence-gathering test...To suggest otherwise is a deliberate misrepresentation of her commitment to supporting victims and bringing violent criminals to justice," Palin, as mayor, fired police chief Irl Stambaugh and replaced him with Charlie Fannon, who with Palin's knowledge, slashed the budget for the exams and began charging the city's victims of sexual assault. The city budget documents demonstrate Palin read and signed off on the new budget. A year later, alarmed Alaska lawmakers passed legislation outlawing the practice.

Doug Stanhope Wants To Save Bristol Palin

2008-09-14T22:40:00.001-04:00

Thanks to Mike for sending me this link. Doug Stanhope (a great comedian) has always been great!

Never in history has a woman been under more pressure to keep an unwanted pregnancy than Bristol Palin. She is the teenage daughter of Alaska Governor & Vice-Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin - a conservative, Creationist Christian power-vampire and pro-life huckster who has put Bristol and her un-welcomed fetus at the center of a politico-religious crusade to stop her exercising her constitutional right to terminate the pregnancy.

Rather than sit back and impotently bemoan Bristol's tragic, lonely circumstance, it is time for us - the silent majority - to unite behind this poor, imprisoned woman and save her from both a tyrannical household as well as the horrible nightmare of a forced childbirth.

These are not empty words. I, Doug Stanhope, am offering you, Bristol Palin, the sum of 25,000 dollars so that you can abort your child and move out of that draconian home. I have also set up a PayPal link so that others around the world can help increase this amount to ease the burden of starting out on your own at such an early age.

I was once in a similar situation where I'd accidentally impregnated a girl and she had to make that same fateful decision that now faces you. It was easy for her - she didn't have a fascist, oligarch parent, the entire Republican Party or the sneering eyes of the Christian Right to contend with, much less a daft, puppet boyfriend who's just waiting for the cameras to stop rolling so he can bolt like a gazelle.

We made the right choice and rather than end up bitter rivals in court battles over custody or support, we are great friends who high-five over our decision and have all the free time and disposable income that young mothers never know. I now pay it forward and offer some of that money to you.

You don't need to ruin your future in order to support the megalomaniacal self-promotion of a mother whose every action is rooted in a demonic ego and archaic superstition. Don't become victim of the same pressure that had your brother "volunteering" for duty in Iraq.

Please consider my offer as time is of the essence. You don't want this child, the father certainly doesn't want this child and the world doesn't need another wailing mouth to feed.

I empathize with the amount of attention, pressure and possibly out-right threats you are getting to give birth against your will and I understand that at your age, you may go through with it no matter how much you don't want to. Either way, you have inspired me to try to make a difference.

Even if you cannot take my offer, I will still use my money or money donated through this page to pay for at least one abortion for a disadvantaged teenage girl each year for the rest of my life in the name of your mother. And in my will, I shall have a good portion of my estate turned into the Sarah J Palin Abortion Fund that will help girls from all walks of life from destroying their lives and our natural resources by having children.

You are not alone, Bristol. There are many of us out here who care.

Please show Bristol you care by either donating or signing the guestbook to let her know that there is true love for her outside of her current surroundings.

A Few New Fundie Quotes

2008-09-14T03:35:00.003-04:00

A while back I posted a list of the 100 top insane things said in Fundie websites. Here's a few new ones for you:

I don't put my faith in science, so I don't believe the universe is what scientists say it is. The universe probably ends a few miles or so from the surface of the earth.
Don't you see? Satan caused that. God has been taken out of our schools, work place and other places. So, God used [the terrorist attacks of] 911 to wake us up and say, 'You need me. Come back to me.'
For the people who think homosexuals engage in consensual sex: they don't. They have a mental disorder (the different wiring I spoke earlier about) that prevents them from making sane judgements on who they should have sex with.
Having sex with someone who isn't capable of making a sound judgement on whether or not they should have sex (either through drug use, mental capacity or age) is rape nearly everywhere in the world.
Everything you do if you do not believe in God is a sin because you are not doing it for God
Bush should support the recriminalization of homosexuality. That's a much more worthy endeavor.
Do you actually think the FBI is going to stop looking for Muslim terrorists intending to set off suitcase nukes in order to stop me from sticking pro-morality bumper-stickers on cars belonging to faggots?
Adolf Hitler was a homosexual.
It is well know that the first Nazi in Germany were homosexuals.
It is also well know that homosexuality was wide spread in the Rome Empire. So the Roman soldiers who crucified Jesus were probable homosexuals.
I am just a messenger, I do not have to be smart. I just try to pass on the messages. Being intelligent was not on the employment application God gave me to fill out.
scientists hav also discovered a great square mass of matter out in space believed to be heaven.
Uri Geller, bends a spoon by thought only. Do you have a scientific explination for that? Can your evolution explain that? Can your theory of evolution explain how 1 man can know what the other is thinking (telepathy)?
The nation's foundation is the Family unit. Divorce is but one enemy of marriage and the others are the gay and lesbian lifestyle and the educational system.
Anything that targets children should be considered illegal like porno, pedophiles (in any profession), abuse, KKK , athiests, etc.

They just get better!

Because My Fiance' And I Watch Kitchen Nightmares

2008-09-14T03:12:00.002-04:00

We watch the REAL Kitchen Nightmares, not the highly-edited, over-dramatized American version. (Isn't every thing American that way?)

If you've seen Gordon Ramsey, you'll laugh.

I...LOVE....Matt Damon?

2008-09-10T16:36:00.001-04:00

Came across this amazing clip of Matt Damon talking about Sarah Palin. You NEED to watch this. I want to buy him a beer and be internet buddies!

W.....T......F

2008-09-09T16:03:00.002-04:00

I watched this and more or less just stared, jaw dropped at the screen. Enjoy!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

It get's creepy! At one point the singer says how he tried to hide from Jesus but he found him and touched him down inside.... WTF.

Hillsong Update: Apparently I Pissed Off an Aussie

2008-09-09T01:58:00.003-04:00

In late July, I posted a story on an Australian organization that is in public schools (you can read it here). I'm assuming you didn't read it because no one commented on it... except one person. This person, I'm guessing an Aussie because they refer to me as 'Mate' at one point, is not happy with me. I read the comment just now and wanted to respond to the statement. You can read the full comment here. And, because I love a good disagreement, here's the whole thing:

Anonymous said...

You are one very scared, nasty little man aren't you. What are you so scared of that you want to attack what Christians are trying to do or what we have that you don't, assurance that when we have eternal life it will be in heaven not hell. Look at society now, it is immoral, no, lets say ammoral, there are no moral boundaries, everything is acceptable, tolerated, celebrated. Society as a whole has fallen into such a pit that we have become numb to things the older generation would never have dreamed of doing.

Wake up. Do you know how many youth we have walking the streets at night becuase they don't want to be at home? how many children go to bed at night not knowing if they are loved or whether they have a purpose or self worth? All we as Christians want to do is show these children that they do have a purpose, that they were no accident, they have self worth etc etc. I see nothing wrong with girls being taught self grooming and personal hygiene, and how to have respect for themselves and that is is okay to say no to sex before marriage, not to conform to society.

Open your eyes mate, our children are lost, suffering, hurting, I honestly can't see how this is going to cause ANY harm, at least for a brief moment they might actually feel like someone cares for them and that they are alright.

This is exactly my heart, my passion and I am working hard to achieve it and get around our next generation, to get in at the foundational years before they screw their life up shacking up with the first boy who tells them that they "love them" and then before you know it we (as tax payers) are paying for them to have their baby, oh thats right, and then he takes off and we are now paying for a single mum. Isn't it better to get in at the foundational years and not wait until we are fixing the problem, isn't it better to be proactive instead of reactive?

August 23, 2008 7:29 AM

Okay, let's clear this up:

You are one very scared, nasty little man aren't you.

Firstly, I'm not scared. If I were scared I wouldn't have posted this... with my name on it.... Anonymous. (Get it?) Second, I am in fact 6'7" so little is a bad description. (I know you meant it in the mean, petty, trivial sense but I'm calling you out on the size issue as well.) Also, if you meant little as mean, then nasty doesn't really count, right? As for Nasty, I'm simply writing about something that I'm sure a lot of people can agree is pretty sinister (check the definition if you want to, I'm spot on) and if you don't agree, that doesn't make me Nasty, it just makes you petty.

What are you so scared of that you want to attack what Christians are trying to do or what we have that you don't, assurance that when we have eternal life it will be in heaven not hell.

Please stop phrasing your sentences as questions and not using a question mark. That's like me writing, "Why is it that you can't understand that if I don't believe in Heaven or Hell than I have nothing to be jealous of." See, doesn't read right. But seriously, not jealous. Can't be, if what you "have" isn't REAL. Oh, and what's your "assurance"? Your belief in the unfounded? The bible? I read The Lord of the Rings and I'm not waiting to meet Gandalf anytime soon.

Look at society now, it is immoral, no, lets say ammoral, there are no moral boundaries, everything is acceptable, tolerated, celebrated. Society as a whole has fallen into such a pit that we have become numb to things the older generation would never have dreamed of doing.

Hate to nit-pick, but the word is Amoral, just one M. ANYWAY... I find it interesting that you changed your mind on that. Are you saying that society simply doesn't recognize morality any longer, being as it has no standing in today's culture and that's why it is Amoral and not Immoral? Doesn't make sense. If we had once been moral and now are not, we would then be Immoral. I think you just like reading your own cleverness. Trust me, we can spot our own. As for your claim, let me say this:

I can't stand when people say that today's society, today's youth, today's culture, etc. just isn't what it used to be. BULLSHIT. You know why it isn't? Because we fucking MOVED ON. The only reason you may feel it was better "back then" is because you look at it through the lens of idealistic nostalgia. Do you want to go back to the more "moral" past? When would that be? During Biblical time when rape, murder, and general destruction reigned? (If you say that's an exaggeration, you need to READ your bible and not just swing it around at people's heads) Or maybe you would prefer a simpler time, say when slavery was in full swing? Good ol' days, right? The true moralistic era... at least for Massah'. Or maybe you would prefer the more moral period of segregation and the KKK? No? The 70's with LSD and Vietnam? Guess who else has said that society has fallen and it used to be better? EVERY OTHER GENERATION.

Wake up. Do you know how many youth we have walking the streets at night becuase they don't want to be at home? how many children go to bed at night not knowing if they are loved or whether they have a purpose or self worth? All we as Christians want to do is show these children that they do have a purpose, that they were no accident, they have self worth etc etc.

First, I'm awake. Second, allow me to answer your question with another; Are you kidding me? The fact is, bad things happen. I know it's a shock to hear, but they do. There will always be children who are in a bad situation and there will always be adults in the same. But, and here's the best part, there will always be people to help them if they can REGARDLESS of their religious affiliation. Sad kids are a fact of life. I don't like it, and I try to make a difference as I can. But to say that the Christians are the ones doing it is insulting to the rest of us.

Quick, name two things you did to help kids.

Okay, my turn. I recently raised a couple thousand dollars, gift certificates from grocery stores and clothing for a teen shelter in Maine with my fellow fraternity brothers. Second, when I was 19 and living in my first apartment, I took in a homeless kid and got him a job. He lived with us for almost a year and he was able to get back on his feet. I'm not Christian. I'm an Atheist. I want to help. I do help. I don't try to push a message or a value system on anyone. If you want to do good things for people, I applaud you. Just don't do it for recruitment's sake. (Please forgive my gloating on the whole "charitable acts" thing there)

I see nothing wrong with girls being taught self grooming and personal hygiene, and how to have respect for themselves and that is is okay to say no to sex before marriage, not to conform to society.

Apparently, you didn't read my post. If you did, you would have read about what IS wrong with the program. Oh, and self grooming? Are we headed back to the "Good ol' Days" again? Because it sounds like you're headed for some subjegatin'! Seriously, you seem to have forgotten everything about Women's Liberation, Gender Equality and Feminism. (I can't believe you're making me side with feminists)

Open your eyes mate, our children are lost, suffering, hurting, I honestly can't see how this is going to cause ANY harm, at least for a brief moment they might actually feel like someone cares for them and that they are alright.

Wow, lay it on thick. I thought you were going to ask me for a dollar a day. Honestly, I said it already, SOME kids have it bad and we should help them. Are you saying that ALL kids are having that experience? If you have children, are they having that experience? No. Even though we don't agree on this particular issue, I'm sure you would or are a caring and loving parent (aside from pushing religion on them). And the great thing is that most parents are the same way. We want what's best for our children. Unfortunately, some kids fall through the cracks of good parenting. These kids SHOULD have a system in place to care for them. But its not in a "grooming" class and you know it. No class room can love a child. And if you say that the class can bring the child to Christ, then you are letting your religion govern your charity and that's sad and selfish.

This is exactly my heart, my passion and I am working hard to achieve it and get around our next generation, to get in at the foundational years before they screw their life up shacking up with the first boy who tells them that they "love them" and then before you know it we (as tax payers) are paying for them to have their baby, oh thats right, and then he takes off and we are now paying for a single mum. Isn't it better to get in at the foundational years and not wait until we are fixing the problem, isn't it better to be proactive instead of reactive?

Your entire closing point is so closed minded, cliche and ignorant to the issue that I don't even need to respond. If helping children is your passion, then you need to find a better way to relate to them than vitriolic stereotyping. It's sad that some kids are in a bad situation, its sadder to think that you value your tax dollars more.

What The REAL Americans Are Saying About Palin

2008-09-07T13:55:00.003-04:00

Remember what I said about Palin (or any politician) USING religion in their work? Well I've been trying to figure out how, just.... HOW can people back that? So I've been reading what they have to say online. Here's some fun ones:

In general, a large block of American voters are incredible shallow and Palin ... well, just look at her.
She has a sparky personality you can't help fall in love with
Should we vote for the constitional party and then pray that the MCcain/Palin ticket wins and then pray that MCcain gets saved and then dies shortly afterwards.

Yeah, Vote for someone, then PRAY THAT THEY DIE! What the fuck? Is this what it boils down to?

His (McCain's) policies are not in accordance with God's Law and therefore, if he wins and Palin is Veep, we need to pray the blessings of God on Palin if she would be the one who would do the most to uphold God's Law and the curses on McCain if he does not.
Besides Dan Quayle, she would be the most overtly evangelical person elected to the executive office in our lifetime.
There is more untapped oil in Alaska than in Saudi Arabia.
The liberals are really tucking their tails in, now! God gave us Dominion over the Earth; let's make sure it stays that way.

Palin: Pray For Pipelines

2008-09-04T18:30:00.003-04:00

I was wondering what would spur me to write about religion in politics with this election. I knew the Retardicans were gearing up and I thought something would happen. Then, lo-and behold...

Sarah fucking Palin.

I bit my tongue though, I waited. I read the rumors of down syndrome baby swapping and bit harder with the soap opera gossip. I drew blood I was biting so hard when she announced her daughter was pregnant. My spasmodic glee was so hard to contain with the famous right wing idea of sex education and abortion blowing up right in Palin's face. I even kept my cool with the whole "lets hunt wolves from planes" bullshit. I haven't said a word. And then I watched a video of her at a mega-church in Alaska.

About 2 minutes in, after spouting the usual niceties you have to spout being a politician, out comes the true evangelical-political dogma. The absolute absurdity of it!

"God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to BUILD A PIPELINE"

Really? That is just about the most facil use of prayer I have ever heard. That's the problem with politicians using God. It takes away accountability. God can do it, we don't have to. Or even worse, God wanted it that way so don't fight it. Is that what's necessary to run ANYTHING, let alone a country?

Around 2:30 is where it gets even deeper into fucking fuck FUCK crazy. She lists all the the things it takes to run a community as if it were tedious and boring. Ho-hum, doing my JOB. And then says it all means nothing if people aren't cool with God. Really? What about anyone who isn't Christian? Bigot.

I can't even coherently express my opinion of this anymore. Just watch it and see how mad you can get.

NILF?

2008-08-26T21:06:00.002-04:00

I came across this today at D-Listed. Here's the scoop:

A priest in Italy will hold an online beauty contest for nuns to show the world that not all of them are old and homely. Rev. Antonio Rungi of Naples said he got the harebrained idea from the nuns he works with. He's lying. He probably got the idea from watching "America's Next Top Model." Thanks Tyra.

The "Miss Sister 2008" pageant will start next month. Nuns from around the world will be able to submit a picture of themselves along with a short bio. It will be their choice to pose with a veil or not. But can they post with JUST the veil and nothing else? I know there's some naughty nuns out there.

Rev. Rungi said, "We are not going to parade nuns in bathing suits. But being ugly is not a requirement for becoming a nun. External beauty is gift from God, and we mustn't hide it."

People will have one month to vote for which nun they think can "be a model." It's basically the holy version of "Hot or Not." Will the winner get a spread in the Catholic Bible?

Quick Update: Just a few hours after this went up, the Padre has canceled the show. Apparently his boss' were not pleased with the idea. Probably because they didn't go with the original plan; Fourth Graders. Thanks to D-List for the scoop.

Hamlet 2 Is Getting The Jesus Freaks All Testy

2008-08-22T04:24:00.003-04:00

I dig Steve Coogan and I'm looking forward to seeing his new movie, Hamlet 2 once it makes it's way to the middle of nowhere. (I live one town over from there) I was on IMDB checking on release dates and happened upon some interesting ignorance on the forums. It seems that, since there is a running joke in the preview about a "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" music number, people are panning the film before it's even out and there are some really interesting comments on the film. Here are some of the interesting ones:

Me = Red

Them = Blue

Jesus didnt come here to be "sexy", sorry to dissapoint you. he came to save the world and he did, but still you have ppl like many imdb jerks who will not believe that and act all "eeh who cares its a sham", which i find very sad. and then they make the most asburd comments ive ever seen on here and its just like, pffft forget it, no point in trying to talk to these creeps.

How do you know if Jesus was sexy?

I'm eating my popcorn, enjoying myself and getting ready for the premiere show when that garbage filthy vile preview came on. I am authoring a letter to the animals who produced that movie and the local movie houses. If they play that piece of garbage in the theaters that I attend, it'llbe the last one I see there.

I bet you were first in line to see Expelled though.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap.
Galatians 6:7

Oh shit, the quotes are starting.

I hate atheists, Every single one of them should go choke on a scientist's dick and just shut up about every one else's beliefs.

I had to respond to this one on the forum, it makes more sense to read the thing there.

Your reasoning is off. This movie spoofs Jesus. Had they made a movie that had shown Muhammad in a similar fashion, Muslims would not tolerate it. There would be a fatwa issued against those involved in the making of this movie. Salman Rushdie is still in hiding and remember the Muhammad cartoons published in Denmark?
Hollywood wouldn't dare. So they go after Christians who they know won't do nothing more than perhaps a protest. It just goes to show what cowards they are in Hollywood and sleazeballs for constantly denigrating religion.

Really? And I quote... eh hem... "Dirka.... Dirka... Muhammed.... Jihad." - Team America.

I'm boycotting this movie. Cause it makes fun of my Savior...and thats not cool.

You wouldn't get the movie anyway.

F--k muslims, f--k this movie, and f--k all you who think it's ok to make fun of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

You said it! And by it, I mean the best possible summation of how ignorant and borderline retarded you are.

I hope this movie fails and if it succeeds, then God help all of us.

That's what I said about The Hottie and The Nottie

If you think this movie has some keen sense of comedy where a religious figure is transformed into some kind of stand up comic, you really, really need to take stock of your life.

Stock taken, see the movie so can learn what the word CONTEXT means.

Why is it always ok to make fun of Christians and Jesus in general?
Who ever said it was something that was ok to do?

I did. We cool?

Try pulling the same S*%# with the Muslims or Jews and your film career is over.
You automatically get labeled as insensitive or an anti-semite.
"F" this movie and all the people that contributed to it.

Again, please refer to the "Dirka" statement earlier. Oh, and how about EVERY cliche Jewish stereotype that has been portrayed in movies, either intentionally or just plain racist.

Well, I think we all learned something here. Christians will jump immediately to conclusions without the information or knowledge first, then proceed to angrily force that opinion on others.

Sounds about par for the course.

New Essay!

2008-08-19T04:20:00.001-04:00

I know these aren't at all to do with Atheism, but they do stick with the blog title because I am in fact doing them, therefor answering the pesky question, "what would ray do?". ANYWAY, here's the new one, entitled T.G.I.F.A.I.D.S. Let me know what you think.

Dear American Broadcasting Company,

AIDS.

Now that I have your attention, let me spell it out for you.

A. I. D. S.

That’s right. I spelled it out for you. Are you shocked? Angry? Or… are you intrigued? My guess is the latter. And assuming this, I will continue to awe and entice you. Who gets AIDS? Well, you’d be surprised. Apparently, EVERYONE gets AIDS. Well, they CAN get it. I know, I know. I was just as amazed as you undoubtedly are. AIDS isn’t just for gays and black people anymore and its time we did something about it.

That’s why I’ve developed an almost unheard of strategy to stop the spread of AIDS and to bring health and unAIDSness to the masses. Why? Because I care… and no one else is doing a damn thing about it. I’m sure the world will want to give me a Nobel Prize or maybe feel the need to create and even Nebel-er Prize for my efforts, but I assure you my motives are purely humanitarian. Just the satisfaction of knowing I helped is enough. That and maybe an Emmy.

When I first heard about AIDS, I was flabbergasted. My gast was literally flabbered. I remember the day well, it was last Tuesday. “AIDS? That thing from the late 80’s,” I said. And I was right. Only, it didn’t end in the late 80’s like one would assume. No. It held on, much like ABC’s Friday night lineup, TGIF. Like AIDS, it too started in the late 80’s and grew. One would assume that AIDS faded out like the hit family comedy, The Dinosaurs or even managed to hang on as late as Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper. Surely it couldn’t last much longer. You’re wrong. Many fail to realize that it somehow stayed strong with shows like The Hughleys and many, many seasons of Step By Step. AIDS seemed to follow this formula by spreading throughout the world, completely unbeknownst to me and, I’m sure, everyone else.

But as TGIF segued into the wonderful edu-tainment news program 20/20, its time to stop laughing and get serious. We need to rally our people against this terrible and almost completely untalked-about disease. Or virus. Just as Polio was defeated or Lou Gehrig cured Lou Gehrig’s Disease, it is time to raise awareness for this horrible affliction. While I don’t know exactly what AIDS is or does, I have heard it’s pretty bad. Isn’t time we stopped it? Isn’t it time we started talking about it? Hasn’t it been long enough without people hearing about AIDS, or even its apparently benign cousin, HIV?

My proposal is simple; Reinstate the wonderfully fun and entertaining family programming of TGIF and involve AIDS themes in every single show. That’s two solid, quality programming hours of AIDS education. The best part? Fun while you learn. And isn’t that the best part of anything? Now I know that with this venture we will need a host. This host will have to be charismatic, charming, well known and educated in AIDS. This is a steep order, I know. But rest assured, I have thought of everything. The wonderful, sparkling personality of one Mr. Irving ‘Magic’ Johnson should be the perfect Host Shoe to our AIDS Friday Foot. (that analogy was beautiful) I did some research and, while it doesn’t appear that Mr. Magic was ever on TGIF, he does own a TGIFridays. I think that’s pretty close. Kismet?

I know the fine people of ABC are probably concerned with television things like ratings and demographics, but let me ease your query. With another disease, lets say the most popular one, Cancer, falls into demographics limbo. Why? Simple. Only women have breast-cancer and only men have prostate-cancer; Split demographic. But with AIDS, the whole family can benefit! AIDS babies, AIDS kids, AIDS Moms and AIDS Dads. Even Grandpa can get AIDS. It’s a win-win. In fighting AIDS I mean.

In closing, while TGIF was (and can still be!) entertaining and uproariously hilarious, AIDS is a serious matter. With your help, and my brilliant plan, we can bring AIDS to the forefront of the American mind where it belongs. No longer can it be something no one knows anything about. Its time we made AIDS history. And made AIDS history. I meant that two different ways, you know, cure it and also a monumental achievement made by me to cure AIDS.

Sincerely,

Raymond Harrington

P.S. – I’m not opposed to having my own show on the new TGIF either. Just so you and I know that. I’m open to anything.

Religulous!

2008-08-11T21:25:00.002-04:00

While part of me sees Bill Maher as a poor man's Dennis Miller who, in turn, is a poor man's... The man was in What Happens In Vegas!

Okay okay, I can appreciate both guys for what they have to say. And even more so with Bill Maher, now that he's coming out with his new movie, Religulous.

Here, watch this.

Isn't that fun? I can't wait to see this. Yes, there have been some recent claims that his "tactics" were akin to the intellectual holocaust that is Ben Stein (Yeah, I said that.) but I'm willing to wait and see what there is here. After all, it comes from the Borat gang and frankly, you can't make a subversive documentary that has the religious right and TELL them you don't believe in God.

"Excuse me, Mr. Hitler? Hi, Shalom Goldmansteinberg here. Can I ask you a few questions?"

See, doesn't work.

Also, I recommend the Religulous website for some fun goodies to check out.

Essay: I Am (Will Be) Legend

2008-08-11T21:21:00.001-04:00

My friend, Ryan Waning and I have made a deal to try our hand at writing some humorous essays and see what comes of it. Being stand-up comics and english majors both, we thought we were pretty capable. Now we shall see! Here is my first in what I hope are bunches:

I Am (Will Be) Legend

People always (never) ask me, “Ray, what is your plan to become Legendary?”
I always (never) reply, “The Plan.” This usually confuses people as my response is really just a restatement of the initial question. The reason I keep the answer vague is two-fold (three-fold);

1. It’s complicated.
2. I don’t want them to steal The Plan.
3. People rarely have the innovation and imagination and… -ation to recognize the amazing genius behind The Plan. (The genius is me.)

The Plan is quite simple and 100% (0%) fool-proof. The key to becoming Legendary is this;
Become famous, grow a beard and die.
You’re amazed.

This process has worked through out history in creating legendary people and it is time to take it, use it, make it mine. That’s right, everyone (My Mom) is going to realize they were wrong when they said Ray Harrington will never be anything. No longer will they say, “That’s Ray. He’s not legendary.” They’ll say, “That’s Ray. He’s a Legend.”

You may be asking yourself (You’re not), who has benefited from this Plan in the past? Well, let me answer your question with another question; Have you ever met a Legend? You haven’t. Because they’re all dead. Allow me to enlighten you (Make a list).

Abraham Lincoln

Jim Morrison

Jesus Christ

What do they have in common? Aside from being the obvious (Awesome beards), they’re all dead and Legendary. You can’t argue with greatness and that is what these men were. Great. Ness. After extensive research (45 seconds on Google), I have discovered that nearly all (Eighteen) Legendary men have beards… and are dead. Now the only question left to answer is, “How Legendary do I want to be?”

I could go full on Legend like Jesus, but I lack a lot of the key elements of his Legendary-osity (I am real). It seems most God-types, while mainly being arrogant, also follow the Beard-Dead Rule. Moses is another Judeo-Christian Legend but let us not forget Zeus and Poseidon. Two stunning beards and also dead, literarily speaking. No I think I will refrain from the supernatural and focus on more Earthly Legends. The mystical has always been lost on me, though Confucius had a pretty rocking beard. And he’s dead.

Perhaps a more artistic approach is needed for my goal (Destiny) to be achieved. John Lennon and Jerry Garcia, both bearded and dead, seem likely candidates, however I would need to learn an instrument to play and be able to write lyrics and what-not. And while being worthy of the title of Legend, I am not musically inclined (Love ABBA). Vincent Van Gogh and Ernest Hemingway are both Beard Legends but again, I don’t want to have to develop similar traits (Like talent, skill or alcoholism).

It seems that historical political Legends could be the way to go as they really don’t have to do anything particular other than speak eloquently (I speak SO good). However, upon further research (Another 30 seconds on Google), I find I lack the necessary mindset and achievements necessary to qualify as a political Legend. I don’t have anything in common with Abe Lincoln (I didn’t free black people), Robert E. Lee (I don’t hate black people), Frederick Douglass (I’m not black), or W.E.B Du Bois (I don’t know who that is).

I suppose a more sinister Legend can be achieved by becoming ominous, but to be honest, I just don’t have the dedication. It takes a lot of time to cultivate the proper level of “sinister” that say, Rasputin had (Not to mention his quite impressive beard). And the more academic ominous-ness-osity of say, Nietzsche requires more writing than I wish to do and I don’t incline to do any. Besides, he really didn’t have a beard, just a HUGE mustache. I also ruled out Osama Bin Laden for obvious reasons (His beard is rather unkempt).

No, the route I must take will be that of the consummate entertainer. Even Shakespeare is a Beard Legend, although I will not be following his example (Again, no writing, and I’m not Gay). The list is short in this field and I have it narrowed down to two Legends:

Santa

“Uncle Jesse” From Dukes of Hazzard

You might be saying (You’re not), It’s obvious! Go with Santa! But folks, its not that simple. Sure, Santa is much more Legendary than Uncle Jesse, but he also has a bitch of a time during the Holidays (And Jewish people think he’s a cunt). After some difficult debating (Thought about it for a few minutes while I was in the bathroom [I was pooping {not that its any of your business}]), I have decided that the only recourse in this endeavor is to embrace the Bearded Legend that is Uncle Jesse.

He fits all the requirements of Legend;

Beard – Check

Famous – Check

Dead – Sadly, Check

So it is to be, I will take up the mantle of Legend in following Uncle Jesse’s guiding light. Upside? Sweet car. Downside? Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson. And Sean William Scott. And the fact that its Dukes of Hazzard. But to focus on the negative is to invite defeat (Defeat is not invited). I will embrace the call to Legend and will delight in the day when everyone (Mom) says, “I knew him when” (Because I will never talk to her or any one I know after I am a Legend). Will it be a hard road? Yes (Not really). Will I persevere? Yes (No). Will I take full advantage of my status with the ladies? Yes (Yes).

After reading this, you may scoff or jibe or mock or deride or gibe or jeer (All taken from a thesaurus) at The Plan, but ponder this query (I didn’t look that up, I just knew it because I’m smart):

Is it better to be nothing in life (No), or to be Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazzard, Legend (Yes)?

Need To Confess About Your Porn Addiction?

2008-08-11T21:11:00.002-04:00

For all my readers (3 people), you may be wondering where I've been for the last week and a half. Church, I've been at church. Jesus is amazing and I love him and he loves me and we're going to be sooooo happy together when I die.

To be honest, I felt kind of lack-luster when no one responded to my post about the creepy and insidious Australian church. OH WELL!

Here's one for you:

The XXX Church, while originally getting my hopes up, turns out to be just an ordinary church with a focus on "rescuing" people from porn. Check here to confess!

Isn't porn what the internet is FOR? I mean, yeah the internet is great for communicating and all that, but isn't porn one of the original guiding forces that expanded the success of the internet? Let's be honest here. Statistics show that Porn is the top reason people are online anyway. If you think about it, odds are that the people going to confess JUST MASTURBATED ON THE NET. Downtrodden and ready to slide their sticky mouse to the "Save Me" box and click away the sin of chicks with dicks and donkey shows. (While I've never actually witnessed either of these things, I find the poetic alliteration involved delightful... and I accidentally saw a chicks with dicks...thing unwittingly and it ruined my day. RUINED.)

So click away the sin, but realize all you're really doing is relieving the guilt.

Oh Ricky...

2008-08-02T15:48:00.003-04:00

I came across a video on youtube that blew my mind the other day and while its not Atheism related, I felt the need to post it.

Here's the original clip:

And here's the clip I may or may not have edited. WATCH THIS ONE!!

Hillsong's "Shine" Class Drags The Woman's Movement Back To The 90's...The 1890's

2008-07-28T04:37:00.005-04:00

Hillsong is an Australian Church Organization that has turned franchise and popped up all over the place. (You can check out their site here)

Mostly known for their praise music, they also have quite a bit going on in the schools as well.... PUBLIC schools. And what do they learn? Let's read a little from the article I found:

Every Tuesday afternoon during the first term at Matraville Sports High School, a group of young women take part in classes intended to boost their self-esteem. Some have personal problems, others have behavioural issues, while a few simply go because their friends do.

For the next two hours they learn a range of skills including how to put on make-up, do their hair and nails, and walk with books balanced on their heads.

Really?? That's supposed to boost self-esteem? Being a good little woman? How about TEACHING them something. Or... maybe try talking to them like human beings and not "training" them to be subservient. Didn't this shit die out right around the same time Polio did? (Ironic that religion tried to keep BOTH around, read some Hitchens to see what I mean)

Let's keep reading:

Hillsong describes Shine as a “practical, life-equipping, values-based course” and its website is awash with glowing testimonials from young women whose lives have been improved by learning about “being a good friend” and “learning about myself”.

Practical? Maybe, but don't girls learn ALL of this in everyday life? I mean, I never had to take a class on how to ride a bike or play man-hunt. (if you don't know what man-hunt is, its basically hide and seek but more... manly.... or something.... I don't know, it was what almost every guy has called it to make it seem a little less childish that they played hide and seek when they were 14... just drop it!)

Life-equipping? I don't even think that's a real word. Isn't that just a hot-button term that fills up space on a powerpoint presentation? Life-equipping. My Mom works with "Special Needs" and I think that's one of the things she has to do. Life-equipping. I had that lesson course; My Dad called me once and said, "Ray, don't grow up to be like me". Does that count?

Values-based? Okay, they like hyphens. By the way, from now on when you hear the term "Values-Based" just go ahead and use this equation:

Values Based = Christian Rules + Fear of Homosexuality - Tolerance

Let's keep reading:

“Through skin care, natural make-up, hair care, nail care girls discover their value and created uniqueness,” the material says.

Jesus Christ on a PogoStick, what the hell does that MEAN??? Oh, right. Let me translate that;

"Troubled girls often dress like Godless sluts and we want to change that. It's about time we had a return to good Christian Values."

See? That was easier to understand.

Thankfully, most people are aware of the blatant attempt to "infiltrate" the schools and the minds of young women:

“Over the last two or three years teachers have been coming to us with concerns about Shine,” said the president of the Hills Teachers Association, Sui-Linn White. “It is the gender stereotypes that they are imposing. The focus on skin care, nail care, hair care - it objectifies women … These are things women fought against for centuries - they’ve got no place in a public school.”
[...]

Parents groups from Queensland and the Northern Territory have complained that their schools have tried to sneak Shine in almost unnoticed.

“In our view, this is a way of getting religion into schools through subterranean means,” said one parent, Hugh Wilson. “The principal or the chaplain decides it’s a good idea and, next thing you know, your kids are being taught about make-up by the Hillsong Church.”

I love you, Hugh Wilson. Thankfully, parents like him are there to spot this. But why does it continue? Do some girls lack the older female role-model they need? Sure, so do some boys. But that is so far removed from the "teaching" that goes on in these classes that it just reinstates horrible stereotypes and societal controls that we have long since removed from our communities.... And I went to Home Ec!!

Oh, and for those of you that read the article and noticed the Anorexia Tag at the bottom, I'll be covering that VERY soon.

In Space, No One Can Hear You Pray

2008-07-28T04:12:00.004-04:00

Answers In Genesis is yet another wonderful tool used by Literalists to brainwash kids. If you haven't heard of it, I really recommend finding out about it. They are the people who started the Creation Museum, the monument to "Make Our Own History" that plagues the religious world.

ANYWAY, I just came across this page in their kid's magazine...

Would you like to walk on the moon or fly in a space shuttle? Have you considered becoming a scientist? Scientists get to study all sorts of amazing things. And Christian scientists can study science in a way other scientists can’t. Knowing who God is and what He said in His Word, the Bible, is where knowledge really begins!

Um, I'm pretty sure you need to know a lot more than whats in the Bible to become anything like an astronaut. Physics helps. So does complex Geometry and the like. Oh and understanding that the earth is ROUND would be good as well, considering Galileo was tortured to death by the church for stating the very fact that the earth revolves around the sun, it doesn't look likely that "Christian Scientists" are very open to interpreting the facts correctly.

Christian Scientist.... is that not the most preposterous combination of words that you can imagine? Let's see, we'll take two words that have NO correlation and combine them to create a "field" that goes against the very foundation of knowledge and intelligence. First we tried a few other terms, but it didn't work out that well.

We tried Cookie Doctor, but there was a split in the group about "chewy" or "soft".

Isn't it just a little too close to Disney's Imagineers? Now I'm starting to get it. A massive organization that takes wants your money and constantly talks about their dead leader... I can't tell them apart. (other than Walt actually existed)

Why Can't They Make A Coherent Video?

2008-07-28T04:01:00.003-04:00

This video starts out as someone's idea of a clever little "letter to God" and devolves into what can only be considered the youtube equivalent of a crazy, muttering senior-citizen in the throes of a "back in my day" fit. Enjoy!

UPDATE:

Considering the church shooting that just happened hours after I posted this, I would say the entire opening of this clip is voided. Unless God isn't allowed in church either? I really hope I don't sound careless when I point out the irony of a church shooting.

The Top Ten Worst Films To Stunt The Growth Of Humanity

2008-07-28T03:56:00.004-04:00

1. Expelled

2. Passion Of The Christ

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10. Anything With Larry The Cable Guy In It

Elbows What Now?

2008-07-22T17:09:00.001-04:00

This makes me... what?? And still the need to throw pictures of Passion of the Christ up there with it? Really? I mean... wtf?

Christian Websites: Why So Terrible?

2008-07-20T14:18:00.003-04:00

While searching the interweb, one thing is clear; Christians don't know how to make a website. Some with awful navigation. Others have no discernable point or scary ethical/moral veiwpoints. And some websites are just so overloaded, they can make you blind. Whatever the case, these websites exist and it's time we recognized them.

Let's take a look at some!

We'll start with this great site. Put on some sunglasses for this one. Are the makers of this website talking about Jesus, or his technicolor dreamcoat? Oh, and don't ask me what that panther(?) is for on the bottom left corner. Now that I have blown your retinas, lets continue down the wonderful road of terrible, mind-numbing websites!

Here's another great one. (OK, so it's not a homepage, but it DID come up on a Google search, so I'm counting it) I think its wonderful to see that Jesus can set you free from the shackles of... okay, I can't even finish that sentence sarcastically. Pornography, Smoking, Overeating and Homosexuality. Are these really top of the list on the sin chart? I don't think so. I'll give them Homosexuality, seeing as it seems the be the sin-du jour for most uber-christians and I'll even grant them Porno seeing as it fits well with the whole... Puritan.... thing. But OverEating? REALLY? Smoking??! I'm starting to think that these issues are more about what the site creator has been "battling" rather than what's "best" for the world. But I'm not one to throw stones. I just hope that Jesus can help that fat, gay, wheezing, pervert.

Moving on. Let's look at another site. Here's a perfect example of two things that a LOT of Christian sites seem to love; Long, droning, list-like sites that seem more like a pamphlet and less like a website, and Space. Christian web developers LOVE Space. LOVE IT! Can't get enough of it. Take a look at some, you'll find at least a few on your own that have stars and space elements running through them. What's curious is that I can't understand how God is involved with Space. Is it supposed to represent where He is? Whhat He sees? Or is it just supposed to make you feel small? Whatever the case, I don't really envision a galactic theme when considering Jesus. ANYWAY, I do enjoy that they try to say something to everyone on this page. And it starts with the Jews!... And then, ALL of Mankind. Cuz the Jews aren't in that category? Oh, and don't you think that JesusChrist.com would be a little better than this? It's like going to CocaCola.com and finding a little site that says, "Soda is tasty, right? You should drink it". I'm sure there are a few zealots that really wish they could have that URL, but have to settle for throwing in a hyphen or an underscore in their address. Jealous?

Here's another example of the two things these websites love; SPACE AND DRONING!! I do find it ironic that the title is Let Us Reason.

These guys must have fallen victim to having to break up the Jesus and the Christ inthe URL. They must hate JesusChrist.com. Oh, and what is the main theme here?..... Hmmm..... Oh, yeah.... SPACE AND DRONING!!!

This one just confuses me. It says that its the "enter" page. A splash of sorts to get you to the site... but there's. no. site. It's perplexing really. FamilyFriendly something-or-other, the header is Give Your Life To Jesus, and then just a bible quote? And I have tried, TRIED to click on anything imaginable, but nothing. I don't get it. If you figure it out let me know.

And perhaps my favorite one, which I'll be tackling more thoroughly in a later post. This is so full of vitriolic ranting that it's hard to read more of a few sentences without either laughing or throwing up. And yet again, more Droning.

Finally, a website I can get behind. I think it should be linked in every Christian site!

That should do it. I hope you enjoyed the lovely tour through the intranets. If you have any sites that you think should join the list, let me know! I can imagine you might know of a few.

Remeber, just because you read it on the internet, doesn't make it true.

Atheistica! A Great Place To Visit

2008-07-15T18:12:00.002-04:00

I've started my own country! That's right. I have. And you can be a national along with me if you want.

All we need to make Atheistica a bustling city is people to go to it. That's all, no clicking or anything, just go there and the country gets better. Why? Because I don't ask for much, that's why!

So join me, and if we get enough people on board, we're making it legit!... maybe not.

Welcome....

To Atheistica!

Praying For Gas Part 2

2008-07-13T05:09:00.002-04:00

Here's a video of the group praying for lower gas prices that I posted on a few days ago.

Funny thing about this: Adding in the extra lyrics to "We shall overcome" about lower gas prices. Is this really.... REALLY... what you want to do with your day? Be the Weird Al of Prayer? I want to see these folks drive by a homeless shelter and tell me that gas prices are the real trouble in the world.

I also love the "proof" that God is listening to their prayers because the price went down 8 cents.

8 CENTS.

If God were listening, do think he might be able to do a little better than that? Is Exxon more powerful than God? Maybe God is trying to send us a message about using a non-renewable fuel source that destroys the planet? Or maybe, and this is a big maybe, praying for the price of ANYTHING is just about as far away from the message of this particular deity, that it shows just how absolutely ridiculous people can be.

Join me next week at BlockBuster Video where fellow Atheists will be praying and singing for the end of the tyranny that is paying almost 6 dollars for Miss Congeniality 2. (See how over the edge it sounds?) Stop praying for gas and start lobbying for a new fuel source. Personally, I'll stick with just hyperventilating when I fill my tank.

Praying For Gas Prices

2008-07-09T04:01:00.005-04:00

The Washington Post had this little gem on their website today.

My favorite line?

"Nobody else is doing anything," she said. "God is going to do something."

Really? Maybe God could make us less dependent on oil, foreign or otherwise. Or maybe He can make cars run on nothing. Even better, Prayer!

When people pray, it's one thing when it's for a cause that could be considered altruistic, but when it is for the cost of something to go down? What about more affordable healthcare? Housing? Food for the poor? Nah, gas prices.

It's seeing people gather together in the name of a God and doing... nothing that bothers me so much about this. Am I bothered that they do this because it's praying? No. It bothers me that they call themselves Christian and, instead of HELPING someone... anyone, they put their time and energy into a self-serving and insignificant "mission".

Here's a fun game; The next time you see something religious going on, a building being built, a function taking place, ask yourself this: "What else could that money and those people do?" In this case, I wonder what would have happened if these people volunteered somewhere, again ANYWHERE. Claiming to be a part of an organization that supposedly stands for the betterment of "the people" comes with one bitch of a stipulation; Actually bettering something.

I would write more, but I'm about to start a prayer vigil for my car payments to go down. Here's hoping Jesus can help an Atheist out on this.

Brainwashing 101

2008-07-08T13:22:00.002-04:00

I understand how this kid's parents could think, "oh! How cute!"

But once you start thinking about how children at that age simply mimic what they see adults doing, it takes on a whole new meaning. Through this kid's eyes, its just yelling and slamming the pulpit. Of course, I tend to see a lot of it that way, too.

Animal Testing: An Open Discussion

2008-07-08T05:14:00.004-04:00

My friend, Jesse over at A Wild Change has recently posted a very interesting piece on animal testing sparked by my March of Dimes post.

I can completely see where he stands on the subject and feel inclined to agree. However, I need to state up front and honestly, that (in the words of Penn and Teller, not verbatim, but close) I would personally choke a Gorilla to death if it meant curing Cancer.

I think that in the world of testing, some cases call for a re-examination of our values; Where does our desire to protect animals come from and when does it interfere with our need to protect Humans? This, while cold sounding, is an important question to raise when considering a possible cure being found for any number of diseases that may not be found otherwise. To inherently adhere to an ethic is one thing, but to blindly adhere is another.

Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely agree with Jesse's position that animal testing for frivolous reasons is abjectly disgusting. When it comes to self-serving products (read: ANY "Product") it is nothing more than a horrible, and consuming glutton that allows an animal to be used.

BUT, when it comes to the all-too-hard to define, "Greater Good" (and I use that term hesitantly as it is mostly used by a person wishing to control you) it is harder to know when the suffering of an animal is malign. I would gladly lay down my life if it meant the cure of AIDS. I say that with all the possible truth and genuine meaning I can. And so it is with that thought that I approach the subject of animal testing with a question; How much is too much? To that question, I have no answer. But like T.S. Eliot, I'm not concerned with offering any facile solution to such a complex problem.

I encourage anyone who reads this to chime in on the comment area. I would love to see a discussion started. Any viewpoint is welcome.

I look forward to reading!

Oh, and if you need to relate this to Atheism: What would God do?

What What (In The Butt) Acoustic Cover

2008-07-07T21:17:00.001-04:00

I can't believe I just did this. Don't judge me. My friend Kelsey said it couldn't be done, well... it can and has.

May Non-God have mercy on my soul.

Rays Number Four!!

2008-07-07T04:53:00.002-04:00

The Atheist Blogger is hosting the latest round of Carnival of the Godless, an atheist... blog-zine/massposting/everything. I enjoy these and, sadly I don't get to read all of it most of the time, the stuff I've read is really interesting.

Oh, and notice number 4 on the list? Why, that's me! Now I shall go forth and be arrogant to my fiance about how I'm on the list.

Thanks for putting up with me.

The Best Video To Give A Fundie A Heart Attack

2008-07-07T01:06:00.001-04:00

South Park already managed to make this better, but I would love to sit a Fundie down and watch them as they melted from watching this.

One Of My Favorite Lists

2008-07-03T00:47:00.002-04:00

I absolutely love this list. I just want to know one thing:

What's your favorite one?

RockForLife Calls March of Dimes Evil

2008-06-27T21:29:00.002-04:00

I've written on the wonderfully horrible Rock For Life group before, but I wanted to share another delightful tid-bit with you. Check out what they have to say about March of Dimes.

I personally love how they drag embryonic research back into the argument. Honestly, when you're fighting for the "right to life" an embryo has, is it really that important what happens AFTER you lose said fight?

Normally I would rant about this for a few paragraphs, but honestly, I can't do it on this. The simple fact that people's religious beliefs are now impacting scientific advancement in SAVING LIVES is stunning. It's sad and it's scary, too.

Notice, that they also mention how sinister that, "MOD gave $19,000 to Dr. John F. S. Crocker of Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, to study congenital kidney abnormalities." Is that such a travesty? What would have happened if the Polio vaccine had somehow gone against their religious dogma? Would we still be suffering from it? What about the stem cell research that goes into developing new skin for burn victims? Should we tell the little girl in the hospital with 70% of her bodies mutilated, "Sorry, it would be a sin to help you."?

Just trying to wrap my head around the idea that they want to STOP. HELPING. PEOPLE. is so fucking disturbing.

He-Jesus

2008-06-26T17:50:00.002-04:00

I can't begin to imagine what this image is supposed to do. Is it supposed to be offensive? And if so, to whom is it aimed? I'm just confused.

Dinesh D'Souza: Ignorant, Arrogant and Willing To Use Tragedy To Twist Your Ear

2008-06-24T19:57:00.002-04:00

Dinesh D'Souza is one of the more outspoken apologetics out there. His diatribes on how Atheism is wrong and it's SO clear to see are nothing more than retread double-speak that would make Orwell groan.

I can give you a million reasons why Dinesh is Ignorant, Arrogant, Etc. Like this, and this, or even this.

But here's the one I came across recently, written just after the Virginia Tech shootings. I'll re-post the entire text right here so the folks over at AOL News don't get the idea that people are reading his crap:

Notice something interesting about the aftermath of the Virginia Tech shootings? Atheists are nowhere to be found. Every time there is a public gathering there is talk of God and divine mercy and spiritual healing. Even secular people like the poet Nikki Giovanni use language that is heavily drenched with religious symbolism and meaning.

The atheist writer Richard Dawkins has observed that according to the findings of modern science, the universe has all the properties of a system that is utterly devoid of meaning. The main characteristic of the universe is pitiless indifference. Dawkins further argues that we human beings are simply agglomerations of molecules, assembled into functional units over millennia of natural selection, and as for the soul--well, that's an illusion!

To no one's surprise, Dawkins has not been invited to speak to the grieving Virginia Tech community. What this tells me is that if it's difficult to know where God is when bad things happen, it is even more difficult for atheism to deal with the problem of evil. The reason is that in a purely materialist universe, immaterial things like good and evil and souls simply do not exist. For scientific atheists like Dawkins, Cho's shooting of all those people can be understood in this way--molecules acting upon molecules.

If this is the best that modern science has to offer us, I think we need something more than modern science.

Isn't that a breath of fresh air? A few things:

Atheists ARE there. They just aren't using the time to shove their personal beliefs on anyone else. They have the decency to recognize that it just isn't the time or place for that sort of thing. It's people like YOU, Dinesh, that can't seem to distinguish between whats appropriate.
Your entire second paragraph is so full of overstatement and blind sarcasm, I can see your eyebrows rising and feel your nudging elbow in my rib while you grin, "Can you believe that? Crazy, right?... I hear they gonna put in on'a them Walmarts down the Route 9!"
You're absolutely right, Double D. Dawkins wasn't asked to speak. Neither were you. For that matter, neither was J.K. Rowling, Danielle Steel, or Stephen Hawking. All published authors, (All of whom have sold more books than you) that weren't asked to speak either. Maybe because it just isn't relevant to have a writer, atheist or otherwise, involved with the event.
How many times do we have to revisit the "Athiests don't know good and evil!" rhetoric? It's so absurd, I don't need to explain how this is absolutely wrong, but I will say this; If you need the fear of retribution by God to stop you from doing "bad things", you just aren't a good person.
"Molecules acting upon molecules".... Do you even have a point you are trying to make? Because if you are, you aren't helping.
And to top it all off, the little post-scritp-esque ending line that HAS. NOTHING. TO. DO. WITH. A N Y T H I N G. Is he insinuating that the shadowy, ominous figure of "science" (like it's a single entity) actually is responsible for the shooting? Or just that it fails to comfort the grieving? "Science" has no place in mourning. It simply isn't part of the realm. It's a process of obtaining knowledge, not of comforting people. It's like saying, "Where was MATH when the towers fell?!!" Utterly absurd.

By the way, here's a Professor from V.T. who is Atheist responding to Double D.

Wrong-Aid

2008-06-24T01:19:00.001-04:00

Heres a great idea; Let's open a drug store and, based on personal belief, deny women contraception! Who's with me?

No one?

At least these people are.

Thanks, George

2008-06-23T04:19:00.002-04:00

I'm sure every blog is going to have a clip of George Carlin today, but I want to keep a little of it going. George Carlin was a HUGE influence in me wanting to do comedy and he has always been a great Atheist.

This clip is from the album, I can't remember which one it was, it was the first comedy album that I ever owned. It was a white tape and I listened to it ALL the time. Over and over until it broke. I just listened to it now and felt like I was in elementary school again. It's a little dated at the end, but it is a classic.

Why?

2008-06-22T14:40:00.002-04:00

I just found out that a movie is being ruined with a sequel. While this isn't the first time this has happened, it certainly is one of the most perplexing sequel attempts ever.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the worst idea for a sequel ever:

S.Darko

That's right, a sequel to Donnie Darko. The writer/director of the original, Richard Kelly, who can't even make another film as good as his first, has completely disowned the new travesty and swears he has no involvement. Off to a good start.

Then we find out the movie's focus is on Samantha Darko (hence the really clever title), Donnie's little sister who is now 18 in the film. How can it get better? I know! Let's add in Elizabeth Berkley! You know, Jesse from Saved By The Bell who went on to become the whore du'jour in ShowGirls? That's right, we're bringing in the talent of SHOWGIRLS.

Sorry to ruin your day.

Tucker And Movies

2008-06-21T21:24:00.003-04:00

As requested, Tucker has asked me to post this:

"Hey, Y'all. I found this terrific and SAFE website I want to show y'all. I think it's wonderful that we can finally, as good CHRISTIAN folks, be able to avoid anything that may require us to question our belief or may introduce us to cultures and values different than our own. Y'all should check the inter-web location site below.

MovieGuide

I hope y'all enjoy my video and make sure you keep your comments church-clean!

P.S. - I'm praying for those poor girls in the 2 Girls 1 Cup video I saw. I saw the title and thought it was about two wholesome girls and the sacrement of Jesus. The only holy content in that Sin-ematic experience is the fact that I passed out and heard God Himself (Not Herself for all those pagan, worldviewers out there) retching and vomiting. Y'all made God vomit!"

Getting To Know Scientologists

2008-06-19T20:02:00.002-04:00

The guys over at Funny Or Die had this up. It's taken from an actual Scientology Propaganda video. But see if you can spot the new addition to the clip...

The BEST Part? You can't even tell the difference between the insanity!

A New Member Of wwRd

2008-06-18T18:01:00.002-04:00

While on my trip to Louisiana, I stopped in South Carolina for a visit to the most trash-tastic store on the planet: JR Discount. It mainly consisted of cheap cigarettes and Stetson hats. But one thing caught my eye. By one thing, I mean one PERSON. After talking for a while, it was plain to see that we would need to bring him with us. So, upon our return home, I allowed this guy to make a video and post it here. He has a story to tell. While we don't agree with eachother on beliefs, I'll allow him to voice his opinion (after all, its the ruling opinion of the Evangelicals). Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you.... Tucker:

As per his request, you can find the link to his brethren here. I recommend the Biblical Puppets.

Your Tuition Paid For This?

2008-06-17T16:46:00.001-04:00

This video is from a graduation ceremony at a PUBLIC college in Texas. How was this allowed to go on as long as it did? The very first thing she starts in on is the "sin" of knowledge?! SHE'S GRADUATING.

As kids we're taught that there is a time and a place. Time = NOT THEN. Place = NOT THERE. Think of all the students, their families, everyone that had to sit through that when they were there to celebrate an achievement in their lives. I can't imagine having to sit through that. I have yet to see an Atheist do this. In fact:

If you have footage of an Atheist doing something like this, e-mail me and I'll post it on here with an apology.

Last thing, Humanism is a sin? Wow, I thought recognizing the human race as a whole and doing what we can to come together and make the world better was a GOOD thing!

Hey Kids!!

2008-06-17T15:46:00.002-04:00

My friend, Kelsey sent me this a little while ago and I finally got around to watching it. Pretty funny.

Like I said before, expect a post soon on some things I saw on my trip!

I Think I Love Barack...

2008-06-17T03:34:00.001-04:00

I just got back from New Orleans and came across this clip before passing out. I have a lot to post about the relevant portions of my trip, but it'll have to wait... (If I see another Baptist Church, I'm going to vomit)

Until then, enjoy... I never thought I could get behind a political figure... I think I'm getting close to that though.

A Quick Line From Virginia

2008-06-10T01:31:00.002-04:00

I'm in Arlington, VA tonight, heading to Norfolk in the morning and on down to Georgia the day after. I'm having a blast and can't help but feel extremely Libertarian under the watchful gaze of the countless monuments surrounding me. Today I passed every single D.C. monument and building and am less than a mile or so away from Arlington Cemetary. After I post this, just before I go to bed, I'll smoke a cigarette in this unaccustomed heat looking at the jutting knife-point of the Washington Monument, cast in a yellow haze of light from the halogen display below. I'll do this and feel more like a dissident than a patriot.... ANYWAY... Here's a new song I found just before I left for the trip. I really dig it and it seems to embody a few of my thoughts this evening.

Oh, and don't think of me as some dour, muttering narcisist. I am having a GREAT time on my vacation!

Gone To New Orleans... Be Back Soon!

2008-06-07T23:44:00.002-04:00

I found this gem while looking for touristy stuff on New Orleans. I can't wait! I thought I would leave this for you before I leave. Oh, and here's one more for you:

Everyone was making those ridiculous 'Chuck Norris' jokes, but we all know Johnny Cash could kick his teeth out just playing a chord. You know, I know it, just accept it.

Johnny Cash: The only JC I believe in.

2008-06-07T23:34:00.003-04:00

How Does Equating Worship With Soldier-Like Violence Praise Jesus?

2008-06-07T20:40:00.001-04:00

Before leaving for New Orleans tomorrow, I wanted to leave you with this: A truly scary sign of what seems inevitable in Evangelical belief. Check out the website here.

I watched the video and honestly, I have no idea what they are REALLY trying to say. Other than music being responsible for all the bad things in this country, there isn't much in the way of a message. I mean, I'm used to seeing music brought in to the whole "terrible influence on the youth, destroying our country, blah blah blah" thing, but it's always just ONE of many things that these people rail against. To see it stand alone is odd, and I can't figure out what the 'ministry' does with it. I will say though that it's nice to see so many white kids enjoying themselves.

A few things:

This country was NOT founded on 'GOD'. It was founded on the principals of Freedom... originally only white people, but we've come pretty far on that... we still need a little work in that area... okay, we were founded on not paying taxes then... wait, we pay outrageous taxes, some of which the founding fathers fought to rebel from... okay... we are founded on.... uh... SHOW THE FLAG AGAIN!!
By the way, the whole Flag and Cross image right in the beginning? That's some scary shit, right? I mean, how far off is that from say the Russian Flag and Stalin or the Nazi Germany Flag and Hitler... OH, that's where I saw all those kids before!
But.... Now.... This.... (QUE THE FUCKING FLAG!!!!!!) NATION!
Music?! Seriously?
'Pollute' over Hillary? I'm confused.
Was that The Simpsons?
Then all the weird, not-really-cohesive-or-pertinent-crap starts.

Post-Rapture Email?

2008-06-06T20:43:00.003-04:00

You've Been Left Behind is a site that allows people to leave messages for loved ones to be sent after "The Rapture". Terrific. Now, after the Rapture happens, you can STILL contact the Reasonable people and harass them about Jesus.

Presumably, the Rapture will happen (AND IT'S GONNA HAPPEN SOOOOON!!!! - Random Evangelical) and all true believers in Christ will vanish leaving only the people who haven't accepted Jesus as their personal savior. So they'll be Left Behind for the Tribulation....

Does any of this sound remotely believable? I mean, people give Scientology so much crap when you have a perfectly absurd religious belief right in front of you. That's the part that a lot of people don't really recognize when they see the Left Behind book series or this ridiculous website: People ACTUALLY believe this will happen. They REALLY do... Let that sink in for a moment....

Now, here's a few facts:

The popularization of the term is associated with teaching of John Nelson Darby, prominent among the Plymouth Brethren, and the rise of premillennialism and dispensationalism in English-speaking churches at the end of the 19th century. In 1908, the doctrine of the rapture was further popularized by an evangelist named William Eugene Blackstone, whose book, Jesus Is Coming, sold more than one million copies. The first known appearance of the theological use of the word "rapture" in print occurs with the Scofield Reference Bible of 1909.^[12]

In 1957, Dr. John Walvoord, a theologian at Dallas Theological Seminary, authored a book, "The Rapture Question," that gave theological support to the Pre-Tribulation rapture; this book eventually sold over 65,000 copies. In 1958, J. Dwight Pentecost authored another book supporting the Pre-Tribulation rapture, Things to Come: A Study in Biblical Eschatology, that sold 215,000 copies.

Interesting note on the Scofield Reference Bible: It was written by a man arrested for fraud. Yeah. Then he published his own interpretation of the bible with his own "sermon" written in the margins and as footnotes. People reading it mistakenly took his notes to be part of the Bible, thus the incredible acceptance of this 'end-times' scary story. Sounds really similar to how the Mormon religion started, too. But that's another post.

Today we see a more modern approach to the Rapture; Money. The biggest selling and most often confused-for-fact book/books are the Left Behind series. The nicest thing to be said about these books is that the authors really know how to sell them. The unfortunate part is that they are not only advocating the belief in the Rapture, but blatantly defining it. The books play out more like a "this is what IS going to happen" and not "this is total bullshit".

What I don't understand is how people can believe this stuff. Okay, okay, you believe in God. You believe in Jesus. You even adhere to a specific doctrine of the faith such as the doctrines of Catholicism or Protestantism. But at the very least, those particular sects are OLD. They can be traced back throughout history and you might even be able to learn the early beginnings of such religions, but they at LEAST have the cloud of history, the haze of "olden days" to hide behind. No one really KNOWS who wrote most of the stuff involved. But with Mormonism, Evangelism, Scientology, etc. You know EXACTLY who wrote these things! How can you claim divinity in someone that you can REALLY investigate, let alone the fact that two of the 'creators' of these religions were arrested for fraud and the other was a science fiction writer who said "The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion."?

ANYWAY, lets go back to the website at hand. Here's what they have to say about Why they started this:

We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel.
The unsaved will be 'left behind' on earth to go through the "tribulation period" after the "Rapture". You remember how, for a short time, after (9/11/01) people were open to spiritual things and answers. (We are still singing "God Bless America" at baseballs' seventh inning stretch.) Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians and devastation at the rapture. They will know it was true and that they have blown it. There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God. We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time. You can also send information based on scripture as to what will happen next. Each fulfilled prophecy will cause your letter and plea to be remembered and a decision to be made.
"WHY" is one last chance to bring them to Christ and snatch them from the flames!

Okay, let's respond:

I can't believe the reference to 9/11. That boggles my mind and has no reason for being on the website.
If they are 'taken aback' by the missing, won't they then have proof of the rapture? And if so, then accepting Jesus wouldn't be based on faith, but self-preservation. I'm an Atheist (Surprise!!) and if all the 'true' Christians disappeared one day, after I enjoyed a country free of puritanical insanity for a bit, I would pray to the then proven Jesus and be 'saved'. Does that make me a Christian? No. If Allah or L. Ron's King of Aliens made themselves 'proven', I would do the same thing. It has nothing to do with faith, it has everything to do with what I as a human being can discern as truth.
'They'll have blown it'? Is that really a sound statement? Because it sounds petty and vengeful to me.
Please keep your 'snatching' away from me. I'm just fine. Oh, and if you DO disappear, you're going in my SPAM folder anyway.

Bookstore - Update

2008-06-05T14:14:00.002-04:00

Last night, I sent a copy of the complaint letter over to Hemant Mehta at Friendly Atheist. As a daily reader of his blog, I have to admit it's kind of cool to be a part of it. People have, so far, had some interesting opinions on the matter. You can check out the responses here. As you can see, I replied to some and I'll copy that reply below. I'll keep you posted on what develops.

Hi, I’m the “guy” that wrote this letter. Just a few points:

1. I wrote the letter because it indeed DID stick with me long after it happened. My reasoning being; If I can’t feel good about my experience there, why should I keep quiet?

2. The reason I sent it to the executive branch was simple: They’ll move on this. The store manager can shrug it off very easily because it really doesn’t affect him/her. But when you get to the heart of a business, things are dealt with much more effectively.

3. What do I expect out of this? Nothing really. I just wanted Borders to know this had happened and I wanted to get the whole situation off my chest. I feel much better about the situation. And NO: I’m not a very sensitive person, I CAN take a joke, and in fact I usually don’t get upset about anything.

4. The reason I put this on my blog is because it is an Atheist matter and my blog is primarily Atheist. Makes sense, right?

5. I am in no way calling Borders out or demanding a boycott. Go to Borders. Shop at Borders. I was just there yesterday, that’s what got me thinking about sending a letter. I love going there, sitting in the cafe’ with my fiance and friends, drinking coffee and reading books and magazines. (I do buy what I read though, it’s not a library… okay, sometimes I read a magazine and don’t buy it) But seriously, there is no call to arms about any of this. I just thought it was interesting and a viable topic for an Atheist blog and apparently it is because you read it here.

6. I will not be taking any ‘legal’ steps in this at all. No, I won’t be taking the matter to the BBB or anything, I simply wanted them to take the letter seriously and any ‘complaint letter’ should include such information. Take a look at Consumerist.com.

7. I didn’t know so many people would have such opinionated viewpoints on the whole thing. I figured it was just some info to share. Any updates, I’ll post them to WhatWouldRayDo.blogspot.com

I hope that helps clear some of this up. Thanks!

Abstinence Sweats? Isn't That Redundant?

2008-06-05T13:45:00.002-04:00

Those wonderful people at your local K-(Why hasn't this company gone bankrupt yet)Mart have started carrying a wonderful line of Abstinence Sweats for girls. Because nothing says "stay away from sex" better than writing it on the ass of a teenage girl! Here's what they have to say about the product:

These athletic pants boldly proclaim just where she stands by pointing out that "True Love Waits" in a large screen print on the front and back of these pants.

Drawstring waist
Bold abstinence screen print
Elastic cuffs. Cotton/Polyester blend
Machine washable
Imported

Bold.... Abstinence... Screenprint. I never thought I would read those words together.

A Great Secular Song (And One Of My Favorite New Bands)

2008-06-05T11:16:00.001-04:00

Frightened Rabbit is a great band from Scotland. While this is technically the single from their second album, "Midnight Organ Fight" just out a couple of months ago, this is the first album that seems to be getting any attention over here in the states.

Hope you enjoy the song, I love it.

Lyrics:

Jesus is just a spanish boy's name.
how come one man got so much fame?
to enemy, it's pointless to anybody
that doesn't have faith
give me the cloth and i'll wipe my face.

when it's all gone
SOMETHING carries on
and it's not mod at all,
just when natures had enough of you...
when my blood stops,
someone else's will not.
when my head rolls off,
someone else's will turn.
and while i'm alive, i'll make tiny changes to earth.

so you can burn me
cause we'll all be the same, the same way...
dirt in someone's eyes flies down the drain
i believe in a house in the clouds
and god's got his best friends round
he's painted all the walls red
to remind them they're all dead

you know when it's all gone, something carries on...
and it's not mod at all -
just when nature's had enough of you.
when my blood stops
someone else's will not.
when my head rolls off
someone else's will turn.
you can mark my words, i'll make tiny changes to earth.

while i'm alive
I'LL MAKE TINY CHANGES TO EARTH.

On A Personal Note: Borders...

2008-06-04T18:32:00.004-04:00

I went to Borders recently and well... The letter below can explain. I just sent this off to just about EVERY executive at Borders and we'll see what they have to say. (It's amazing what a little research on the web can get you) At first, I laughed the whole thing off, but as time went on, I realized just how much that comment bothered me. Again, it's that fun game I like to play where you replace Atheist with any other group of people and suddenly the dynamic shifts. Let's hope I get a reply. (I'm blocking out my contact info as I don't really want it posted on the internet):

Ray Harrington

XXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Borders, Inc.

100 Phoenix Drive

Ann Arbor, MI 48108

To Whom It May Concern:

Recently while at your XXXXX, Maine store, I purchased two books. One of which was The Portable Atheist, a collection of Atheist writings over the last few centuries. As a very loyal and regular customer, (I shop at your store almost weekly and always make a purchase) I was shocked and offended when the woman ringing in my books commented on the book; “Atheism, eh? Well… I guess I’ll keep my comments and thoughts to myself.” This was said with such arrogance and blatant mockery that I stumbled over my words as I paid for my books and left.

At first, I was surprised at what she had said, was that REALLY what just happened? As the days went on, I realized just how insensitive and downright offensive that statement was. In fact, some might construe that to be an affront to my religious beliefs and I am inclined to agree. If the woman had referred to a Bible or the Qur’an in this manner, I’m sure you would be hearing from a religious group on the matter as an attack of Civil Liberties. As it is, I have only one recourse, and that is to contact you personally. The matter has left me feeling so insulted that I must ask myself if I can feel confident in being a Border’s Books customer any longer.

To be honest, I don’t know what may reinstate my confidence in Borders. I only ask that you do as you see fit. This matter is gravely important to me and I will be very much interested in seeing it resolved. As a loyal customer, I hope I can retain a sense of dignity when shopping your stores. I look forward to your reply and a resolution to this problem, and will wait until June 9^th to report this matter to a Consumer Protection Agency, The Better Business Bureau, and any other avenues that deal with these issues. Please contact me by e-mail, the above address, or by phone at XXXXXXXX.

Sincerely,

Ray Harrington

Trip Prep. Part 1 - God and Politics in Lynchburg, Tennessee

2008-06-04T15:56:00.001-04:00

Getting ready to drive down to New Orleans next week, I'm preparing myself for the trip through The South including the Carolinas and Alabama by catching up with the Southern view on God and Politics... I'm going to get shot. I'll be sporting a custom "Atheist: A Non-Prophet Organization" shirt that Kat is being nice enough to make for me. I'll be sure to pose for pictures while I'm in Alabama wearing the shirt!! (Please send all hospital bill donations to my home address)

So... Let's find out what some of the views are in the South!

A few things on this video:

1. Huckabee lost. You lose, America wins.

2. The whole qu'ran thing is absolutely wrong and bigoted.

3. Saying one thing and doing another? Like "No Child Left Behind" and that whole "Mission Accomplished" thing?

4. The country wasn't founded on the bible.

5. Their faith and not our faith? I can't begin to tell you how wrong that is.

6. He DID do the pledge, he didn't sing the anthem. Get it right.

7. No one 'pulled' God out of the government, he was never there. Some people are trying to PUSH it into government.

8. Why is a young teenage girl weighing in on Politics? That just shows that she's spouting anything she hears from her family. Brainwashing is pretty neat.

9. The whole Obama thing is so overtly Racist, it's hard not to see it as they get angry. I have to wonder if they've ever met someone opposed to their structure of belief or if they just assume the 'evil' in them.

Abstaining From Reason - Part 1 - Overview

2008-06-04T14:58:00.003-04:00

There seems to be so much to talk about when it comes to Abstinence Only programs that are being taught all over the country. Regardless of what some groups may say, nearly ALL of these programs' core ideology come from their Christian roots. In fact, I don't know of a single Secular sex education program that teaches Abstinence Only. Why? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK!!

It's very easy to see why this is the case when you look at the facts: Abstinence Only teaches children to wait... and wait... and that's about it. No information is provided for these kids about condoms, the pill, etc. So, when they do eventually have sex... And they WILL have sex, it's fucking inevitable. And inevitable fucking.... When they do have sex, they are less likely to use protection resulting in higher cases of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Here are some facts to show I can do a google search:

''There is nothing in any peer-reviewed scientific journal to suggest that teaching abstinence-only is effective in getting teens to delay sexual activity,'' said one expert, Cynthia Dailard, a lawyer and senior public policy associate at the Alan Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization devoted to advancing sexual and reproductive health and rights.

In contrast, Ms. Dailard has reported, considerable evidence shows that sex education promoting abstinence, but also providing information on the benefits of contraception for those who do not remain abstinent, does delay the start of sexual activity. Such programs also reduce the incidence of teenage pregnancies and S.T.D.'s, she has found.

Furthermore, she and others who have reviewed the findings of many carefully done studies are worried about the effects of the abstinence-only approach on teenagers who do become sexually active. If teenagers are given no information about birth control, or only negative information, the studies indicate that they are less likely to use any method of protection, and are thus more likely to become pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease than are teenagers who are well informed about condoms and other contraceptive options.

One national study, published in 2001 in The American Journal of Sociology, found that while some teenagers who promised to remain abstinent until marriage delayed sexual activity by an average of 18 months, they were more likely to have unprotected sex when they broke their pledge than those who had never pledged virginity in the first place.

And Columbia University researchers reported in March that in a national study of teenagers who pledged not to have sex before marriage, a majority did not live up to their vows. The adolescents also developed sexually transmitted diseases at about the same rate as teenagers who had not made virginity pledges.

See? Not only does it not work, it's actually BAD for teens. And you know what the best part is? YOU are paying for this to be taught to children! That's right, open your wallet and hand over some of your money to these ignorant puritans! How much money? Well, let's check. Last April, the Washington Post stated this:

The federal government spends $176 million a year on abstinence-only education, and millions more are spent every year in state and local matching grants.

That's a lot of our money spent on something that actually does more harm than good. I wonder why it's so much? Only a president with extreme religitical (that's religious and political together, clever huh?) views would allow that, right?

President Bush is asking for $273 million for fiscal 2005.

Oh.

Well, maybe he just got confused about what he was pushing. I mean, he does get confused...

President Bush, in speaking to high school students in South Carolina two years ago, said that ''abstinence works every time,''

Now why didn't your Dad say that?

SO... thats where we are on the whole subject thus far. I've got quite a few things lined up for the follow-ups. We'll see how it pans out. Stay tuned for the next installment: Condoms.

The Bible Confirmed Through Science?

2008-06-02T04:11:00.001-04:00

This is a fun one. Here's what this man has to say about the Bible and science... Now lets refute, shall we?:

(0:00 - 0:10) Saying it twice doesn't make it true. Watch: Say it with me now, "Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't have a horse-face. Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't have a horse-face."... Did it work?... Nope, she's still all Sex And Mr.Ed.

(0:20) Oooh! He talked about me! I scoff, I scoff!

(0:28) Wrong. First off, "science" never made any announcement. Ever. "Science" is not a group, club or organization and there was never a time when "science" came out of it's lab and said "We now know... there are too many stars to count... Dr. Mathis tried earlier and said that it was just fucking crazy." I'll let you spout on before I follow up.

(0:40) If this is the heart of your argument, you need to check your history books. Ok, Isaiah said that, fine. But I'm an English Major and I can tell you from reading countless (almost as countless as the stars) early/ancient literature and I hate to spoil your sermon, but that's what any one who has read a book would call a "Simile". This is when two unlike things are compared using small similarities and prefaced with the words 'like' or 'as'. (You could also argue it as an analogy or, if your stretching, a metaphor)

This form of writing has existed... FOREVER. Read Gilgamesh, written around 2750 and 2500 BC. (Speaking of Gilgamesh, it's awfully familiar to Noah. Hmm.) Not to mention the birth of literature from the Greeks. you know, the guys that just about created Astronomy? (I would say they DID create the basis of what we call astronomy, however there is recent evidence that shows ancient India was working this stuff out a little earlier, but the juries still out.)

The Greeks went WAY further in this than "trying to count the stars" and created the calender that we STILL use today by calculating the earths rotation and the alignment of the planets. Not to mention early constellations and predicted solar and lunar activity. A little more 'scientific' than the 'grains of sand' theory.

Oh, and what about what Mathew has to say?

Mathew, 24:29 "Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light..."

So the Moon gives light? But the 'Science' says it reflects the light from the sun?? (That's just one of many references to the moon's 'light' that can be found in the Bible. Just check the first page. Yeah, the FIRST PAGE.)

(1:29) Man, the Hubble Telescope was such a waste of money! We could have just read the Bible.

(2:05) Uh-oh, there's that tricky literary stuff again! See, what was said there has been said by EVERY religion and culture (at least those who have kept written records) in our entire history. Every "creation story" has a beginning point of 'what can't be seen', that goes for the whole Earth-on-the-turtle's-back thing, too. How is such a simple form of writing being missed? Literalism, as crazy as it is, has it's limits!

(2:17) "Quite frankly", if you base your entire structure of acceptance of reality on what the Bible supports, you must find it hard to function in the world.

(2:35) All scathing responses aside, the Bible is also not meant for the following:

- Field Guide to Birds
- First Aid Response Pamphlet
- News Paper
- Annotated Index of Human Organs
- Medical Textbook
- State Legislative Text
- Piano
- Underwear
- Person
- Reliable Historical, Scientific, Archeological, Cultural, basis for ANYTHING... Especially Reality or the basis there-in.

(2:53) I think its less How to go to Heaven and more Why you're going to Hell, really.

(3:02) The only book with Authority?! Have you READ Cash: An Autobiography of Johnny Cash by Johnny Cash?!

I Really Hope This Is Fake

2008-06-02T02:49:00.001-04:00

Answers In Genesis is quite possibly the biggest Creationist group out there. After seeing some of the stuff they put out, I hate to admit I wasn't entirely shocked that this might really be their work. But the Rational part of thinks it's a gun safety PSA with the AiG logo spliced in.

Let's hope it is a 'joke'.

If You're Going To Say Something Crazy, At Least Back It Up... Or At The VERY Least Finish What You Start!

2008-06-02T02:43:00.002-04:00

When someone states that the Bible is without error, I automatically assume they haven't read it. I've read the Bible a few times, along with other books about the Bible and I'm sorry, but error is the best umbrella term to collectively state that the Bible has conflicting stories, mathematic and scientific error, historical inaccuracies when matched with real archeology, and just plain wrong statements. Don't 'believe' me? Check out a fun site:

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/

As for the video, I'll respond point by point:

1 - So what you are saying is that unless I blindly accept the Bible, it won't make sense? Well, I agree! Unless I am willing to completely ignore what I know and the most basic of reality, then no, I won't be able to swallow much of anything Biblical.

If I told you that I could fly and you could, too. But only if you truly believe that you can fly and you don't ever question that you can... would you jump off of a building with me? Okay, what if I told you that I can make myself invisible, but only if you close your eyes and really REALLY believe? It's starting to remind me of when Tinkerbell dies and Peter Pan needs everyone to clap to prove they believe in the Fairy.

2 - You already said that.

3 - ... No 3? You said 10! That's not very dedicated OR accurate... and that's just ironic.

4 through 10 and any other points - Keep Clapping.

Hey, Evangelicals! Ever Hear of Manifest Destiny?

2008-06-01T13:35:00.003-04:00

Mike posted in a comment recently about Evangelicals (the cultiest of Christians) and their thoughts on the "Holy Land". I had intended on this being my follow up post to something else, but now seems as good a time as any.

Thank you, God! For Giving Children Horrible Cancer!

2008-05-31T12:15:00.003-04:00

I've managed to find what is possibly the most-offensive-to-human-progression group out there. While they focus on anti-abortion mostly, they are also vehemently opposed to the pill, and in this case, euthanasia.

Basically, they meander through some useless, if not all together irrelevant information until they utter these words of wonder:

What people have forgotten is that no matter what suffering we face in our lives, God has a plan for all of us. God can use suffering for good in our lives and in the lives of the people around us. With God, there is always hope!

Really?! The last time I checked (2 minutes ago) the assisted suicide matter was only relevant to the terminally ill and the elderly in rapidly declining health. So the suffering of these people is completely fine? And not only that, but is good? I know, we should check somewhere else to see what the thinking is elsewhere:

Bible.org says that suffering...

produces character improvement (holiness, maturity, etc. James 1:24) which in turn produces eternal rewards (crown of life – James 1:12).

"Sorry that you have cancer kids, but hey! It builds character!" Does that sound right to you? But really, that's where the debate of "the Right to Human Life" leads. In defining the 'sanctity' of one form, they have created the umbrella of protection against any and all people never ever being allowed in any circumstances to define their own sensibilities of death. ANY and ALL.

I find this extremely conflicting when you look at the "war". Take a look at the statistics of Christians that are Pro-War:

Support was strongest among Evangelicals, 77 percent of whom supported war, compared with 62 percent of Catholics and mainline Protestants.

Let's go BACK to Rock For Life and their anti-euthanasia rhetoric to contradict that, thus showing how clever I am:

No human being has the right to take another human life - or their own, for that matter! Only God can rightfully create and take life. Let's quit playing God.

Why be so selective? I ask this because it seems to always be the easiest thing to get upset about is what is constantly attacked by Christian groups. Abortion, Euthanasia, Gay Marriage, etc. These are all things that are so clearly NOT important issues to debate because they all fall under one simple factor: PERSONAL FREEDOM.

Instead of worrying about the "precious gift of life" that you feel abortion destroys, why not worry about, say... feeding the homeless, stopping the spread of AIDS, Cancer... anything that affects the "precious gift of life" that is here NOW. But that would require giving and compassion and hard work. Much more than a picket sign and a hateful message.

Saw this at Married To The Sea. Thought it was interesting. Enjoy!

2008-05-30T05:09:00.001-04:00

To see more, click the picture and check out the archive.

So Jesus, What About Anal?

2008-05-28T15:11:00.002-04:00

Apparently someone has started a very helpful website dedicated to sexual advice drawn from the Bible. Some of the benefits to anal sex? Well, according to this, it's just plain practical!

Disney, Make Up Your Mind; Are You For Or Against Child Porn?

2008-05-28T14:48:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately, I've been subjected to the whole Miley Cyrus fiasco with Vanity Fair. If you haven't heard about it, congratulations. I wish I could say the same, but I work with people who have to talk about these things. The one thing I will say for opinion is, while I can understand why having her in a 'revealing' picture is bad, isn't it completely and totally unavoidable? I mean, EVERY SINGLE commercially generated pop-starlet has eventually become... well, trampy. It happened with Britney, Christina, Jessica, and countless other teen cardboard cut-outs. And we all rejoice in saying, "tisk, tisk. Look at that." We can't get enough of these gossipy little "news" stories.

SO... As the pop-stardom age gets lower and lower, isn't the whole Miley Cyrus thing just a symptom. Here's the model for the business:

- Find young, clearskinned person to appeal to youth

- Remove their personality, replace with business savvy

- Mass-Market the new product to the youth through T.V., Movies, Concerts, CD's, Magazines, etc.

- Exploit until 'product' is too old (about 17 or 18), or until a more viable product appears

- Inherently sexualize product, this makes the appeal to children more effective due to burgeoning sex-drives and puberty. It also maintains some amount of public awareness due to the nature of society.

- As product ages (around 18 and 19) it now desires to be an 'individual'. This will destroy product viability. Drop product and pick up younger product.

- This new product will have to be younger than the original when it started because of the growing youth culture that you are trying to reach. Upside? They will be a viable product longer.

Isn't this Miley Cyrus thing just the natural progression? Well, Miley look on the bright side. A few years from now, this will all just be "the beginning" of the end of your career. Enjoy sub-celebrity status and hanging our with Paris.

ANYWAY, the reason I started this rant... Disney was up in arms about the whole photo-shoot. They said that she had been taken advantage of to sell magazines. Really? Well, take a look at this. I would post it here, but frankly, I don't want it on my site and the story is told way better on Slate. Hint: It involves a giant billboard and a twelve year old in undies.

What was that about being taken advantage of?

Paula Zahn discriminates against atheists?!

2008-05-25T18:25:00.001-04:00

I have a wonderful amount of links that I've compiled into an 'Atheism' folder in my bookmarks that I wanted to share with friends, seeing as that e-mail has become a blog, I had to think about the one to "start" with. This clip from CNN pretty much sums up most of my frustration with mainstream American outlooks on Atheism. If you're a forward-thinking person, and if you're reading this I hope you are, try to watch this and NOT get mad.

Fun game: Try replacing the term 'Atheist' with the term 'Jew' or 'Homosexual' and tell me how you feel...

A few points:

- (0:25) I can't stand the arrogant smirk on Karen Hunter's face when she says "nothing, right?" Is that clever?

- (0:30) 'In God We Trust' wasn't on our money originally. In the history of currency, it's fairly contemporary... And it "ends" with freedom of religion.

- (0:38) "They took Prayer out of schools, what more do they want?" That sounds waaaay to similar some one in the 50's saying "They got in to our schools, what more do they want?" See how bigoted that is? Oh, and Prayer is out because tax payers shouldn't have to fund a religious belief. Look on the bright side, Karen! At least you don't have to pay for those darn atheist kids to... think rationally?

- (0:49) "We are a Christian Nation. I'm not a Christian, I'm Jewish but I recognize that we are a Christian Nation." That is so wrong and conflicting on so so SO many levels that it actually makes my nose bleed if I think about it for too long.

(0:56) "Freedom of religion doesn't mean freedom FROM religion"... Are you absolutely fucking insane? Can you HEAR the words coming out of your mouth or do you just hear the rhythm of the vowels and go with it?

(1:15) Firstly, are any of these cases true? Secondly, how are Atheists involved with this? Thirdly, I think it's pretty revealing that you choose to complain about Middle-Eastern beliefs that are 'okay'. I know it's really easy to 'poke' at the popular target, but it just makes you sound more ignorant and bigoted.

(1:55) Great. The ESPN Analyst... Who LOVES THE LORD... is the only one semi, half-heartedly sticking up for reason. The E..S...P...N...ANALYST. Why was he chosen for this 'round table' discussion? Oh, yeah. He Loves the Lord.

(2:17) After a really "witty" chuckle about Atheists needing greeting cards, we get to the real root of Karen's debate, "I think they need to shut up." Now imagine if it were any other group of people she said that about... "I think the Jews need to shut up." Spoken like a real American. "Martin Luther King should have kept his mouth shut, at least he'd be alive". Such warm feelings from Karen.

(2:48) Apparently without prayer, you have no morality... Um... right.

(3:30) Thank you Sports Man.

(3:40) I retract that thank you. "I heard that. I read that. I just don't believe it." Do you realize how EXACTLY that explains what I say about the bible?

(4:15) I'm done. Karen goes on about not imposing on her rights while slamming down the rights of others... I can't take the double standard. I'm trying so hard to reconcile the complete bullshit in that statement that my brain is actually pushing its way out of my head trying to escape. I can't take anymore. I can't try to make sense out of it and try to make some form of rational point of it. I CAN'T!!

If you manage to do it, let me know.

Only two days and someone is taking my WW_D idea!! (Okay, so I'm not the first...)

2008-05-25T17:31:00.004-04:00

Saw this on Friendly Atheist and can only be jealous. If only 6'7" fat guys had access to cool shirts...

I have become one more in the sea of selfish, self-obsessed "Blog-People"

2008-05-24T15:43:00.000-04:00

I want to apologize, first and foremost to anyone who may be subjected to my rambling. I realize that the world does not, in fact, revolve around me and that, no, people aren't stumbling over eachother to hear what I have to say.

The reason for this blog is simple, I was going to send a few friends an e-mail with a whole bunch of religious/atheist goodies in it and decided it would be easier to make it a blog. That way, after finding this stuff, it doesn't simply disappear after the e-mail. So there.

I can't believe I'm a fucking blogger.